Just wanted to warn everyone, please don't watch the movie "Cold Creek Manor." That was the worst movie I have seen in a long time! My God, the acting! Dennis Quaid's only facial expression were "BIG EYES" at the "intense" moments. Oh, and I think the only good line was by Stephen Dorff and it goes something like this, "Do you think I am insane?" (Dorff) "No!" (Sharon Stone) "Wrong Answer!" (Dorff). And now that I look at that in writing, it isn't that funny. At least we made up for that piece of crap with Grosse Pointe Blank. Have a great day everyone.

"Will you ever welcome me?"

"Head Above Water" -- Cameron Diaz and Harvey Keitel

Good call. Very forgetable.

"Phantoms," "Virus," and "Ghost Dog" are also in the same category of suck!

"I've been walking alone now, for a long, long time..."

Pitch Black

I've never seen it but "Killer Rats" seem like a pretty shit movie to me.

the mummy (i & ii)

That's all I needed

I saw Cold Creek Manor because my sister wanted to see it and I see movies for free. I can therefore agree that it does suck.

I don't know if I have any movies that I would tell people to never see since I love bad movies. Okay, well, I do have a list of bad movies that are actually bad...

The Matrix
The Matrix: Reloaded
The Matrix: Revolutions

Yeah yeah yeah, I didn't see the 3rd one, but come on? Reloaded? Anything following that had to suck. If you like bad movies, do see From Justin to Kelly.

C.H.U.D. starring Daniel Stern as The Reverend.

oh, by the way, C.H.U.D. stands for cannabalistic humanoid underground dwellers. you just can't make this shit up.

I'm reminded of The Simpsons....something like "Of course you'll hate New York if you only focus on the pimps and the C.H.U.D.S."

I second that!


and as much as I'm sure everyone loved finding nemo, I HATED that movie!

Duuuuuuuuuude...not cool...

(Edited by DigsySlattery at 10:46 pm on Mar. 8, 2004)

I didn't think so either. Toy Story was 10 times more "cool" in my opinion.

I third that.

But the worst movie that I have ever seen is Anger Management, starring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson.

Except for Punch-Drunk Love, Adam Sandler's career has been steadily worsening since Happy Gilmore. And everything since The Waterboy have been complete fucking disasters. And whatdyaknow, that's just about when he started producing his movies himself. The ones he's putting out now are unwatchable. And what a shame, because he used to be so funny.

(Edited by jamiecarroll at 1:21 am on Mar. 9, 2004)

man finding Nemo was soooo cute...

I never liked that movie "Meet Joe Black" with Brad Pitt it was boring...
~Eyes wide shut
~Idle hands
~10 things I hate about you
~I can't Hardly Wait
~Crossroads
*all of the crappy teen movies that you end up watching on USA on a wed. night doing homework!

Eyes Wide Shut is one of my favorite movies. There are three or four movies that I cannot pass if I run across them on digicable... EWS, Ghost World, Apoc Now, and Star Wars... sucke din everytime

The Trojan War

I'm slowly thinking of more bad ones...

how could you diss "ghost dog"?? you must just not be down with the Wu and thats ok. the movies that i think are the most unwatchable are ones featuring Warner Brothers Cartoon Characters. The top of the suck list, "Space Jam."

--eye of the beholder
--waking life

YES! it was an absolute waste of time. sadie and i almost fell asleep during it.

Geez, what was up with that movie? All I can remember is that it didn't make any sense. And that Ewan didn't show the full monty in it.

God, did this movie suck. I know people who think it's the crowning achievement of cinema, and I find it pretentious pseduo-philosophical boring crap. Fuck this movie, it made me dizzy.

(Edited by MissSeptember at 10:20 am on Mar. 9, 2004)

Actually, I would say all of these movies are great except Eyes Wide Shut.

....crossroads?

What did you think when you saw it?

Or are you thinking of Crossroads, about Ralph Macchio playing the blues and Steve Vai as Satan's guitar player?
I'd put that one on the list.

killing dan akroyd.

Smee... I was going to say Waking Life last night... I was watching it while surfing the board... it was on HBO Sig or something. That is a total piece of crap.... but I was afraid I might come off a bit hypocritical... if ya know what I mean...

Yeah that movie sucked. Also

Excess Baggage
Feeling Minnesota
Home For The Holidays
Pearl Jam...oops wrong topic.

I know what you mean *wink*wink*. That was the first thing my buddy Todd said when he saw it. "Cool! That is totally Waking Life!" He thought it was a good thing.

eye of the beholder was just wierd , because Ewan kept seeing his daughter that had been taken away from him or something... It made it seem like the girl was dead and he was just talking to her spirit. The ending was really stupid too. If you've ever seen the DVD for it, they have another ending for the movie which sucked as well. It was basically the same car crash ending with Ashley judd dying, but before the car crashed Ewan was on the motorcyle riding beside her car and they almost touched hands??? (the riding beside the car part was done in slow motion silently with no sound) It was just crappy they were trying to make some type of artistic point that the two of them never really connected or something... instead it just made me feel stupid for sitting through the movie.

Agreed. I rented one night when all I had was a bottle of bourbon and an empty apartment.

I'll spare everyone the volumes I could write on this film. At first viewing I really didn't like it, then I reflected on it awhile and proceeded to see it 5 times in the theater. The complexity and the depths of the shots are amazing.

For the people that will say the acting is bad or wooden, look at the film again and keep this in mind... it all happens from the perspective of Tom Cruise's character. He sees his wife that way... once she admits she lusts after the naval officer she is never shown in warm light again.

it wasn't the visual aspect i hated--all of the quasi-philisophical meandering drove me nuts.

I think I did fall asleep. I hated that movie. It was awful in my opinion.

I will add:

Gigli (sp?)
Gangs of New York (unless it's to experience the horrible transition from disc 1 to 2 of the DVD, which is hilarious)
Matrix

(Edited by Sexy Sadie at 5:53 pm on Mar. 9, 2004)

I have this thing for horror movies, and I was in the video store about two weeks ago dying to watch something in that genre that was newer. So, I rented House of the Dead. Holy shit. I was laughing at first, then I started to get sick from it. Please note that I had no clue when I rented it that it was based on a video game. When the little clips were put into the movie, that's when I realized that I had played it in an arcade before. From then on out it was downhill (and that was the beginning of the movie).

Luckily, I rented Dawn of the Dead as a backup older movie. Good thing I did, too, because I might have very well went insane.

yes, it was the stupidest movie i've seen in a while. still had it's funny moments though. but if you're going for a something newer in the scary/funny genre, you just can't beat "freddy vs. jason." hilarious.

and as i've mentioned in another thread, never rent "flower of flesh and blood," no matter how scary you think the back of the case looks.

I saw Freddy vs. Jason in the theaters. I'm pretty sure I made TF go with me. My memory sucks.

I saw that at the drive-in. Terribly funny.

The only movie I've ever walked out of (that I can remember): Gone Fishin'. Horrible movie.

Three movies that a lot of people love and I can't stand: Dogma, Clockwork Orange and Easy Rider.

I also went to see Cabin Fever in the theaters, and there were a lot of people who walked out. I've personally never left a movie before the credits.

yeah, how about anything kevin smith has ever done?

the worst movie i ever saw in a theater was wing commander, also based on a video game. i only went for the sw episode 1 trailer.

Sorry in advance, this will be a long post.

When you guys started talking about horror movies it reminded me of a movie I bought a long time ago. Actually, I can't believe I didn't include this movie first. The film is the horror classic "Incubus" starring a pre-Trek William Shatner. That's right. William Shatner. More importantly, however, is the fact that the film was the first and only full length filmed entirely in Esperanto. Esperanto, for those uniformed, is the international business language that obviously is neither international, nor business, and only debatably a language. There's nothing funnier that watching the uberserious Shatner stumble through lines in a language he doesn't even know. For christ's sake, the guy can't speak English!

All the elements are here: Shatner delivering his lines with the classic Kirk-inflection, a she devil, the spawn of satan, and most importantly, a goat. I really can't describe this movie. Maybe if you are very nice and don't make too much fun of me for owning it, I will loan it to you. Yes, I have a copy. Yes, it is on DVD. Yes, it does have subtitles. Yes, it makes from a great MST3K-style party. No, I was not drunk when I bought it.

The most unbelievable thing about the film is the cinematography...it's outstanding. Conrad Hall, yes THE Conrad Hall still manages to work some magic while surrounded by dunces.

Oh, and there's a curse on the filmmakers. The producer hung himself shortly after the film opened and the lead actress and director subsequently died shortly thereafter. Shatner and Hall escaped from the fiasco unscathed....ok, maybe just Hall.

By the way, has anyone else seen this thing? I've always been curious how many people have actually seen it.

Sorry about the long post.

(Edited by herman at 9:02 pm on Mar. 9, 2004)

I've never seen... I've heard of it though. Sounds hilarious.

I think when it come to horror films "It" is the worst and the corniest of the ones that I have seen. Also "plan nine from outer space" was a pretty crappy movie although it is old so its excused for being so incredibly lame.

Bats in 1999 with Lou Diamond Phillips was pretty terrible.

Wow! Bats did suck. I forgot about that one. Please don't ever forget Anaconda and a little horror movie called Jack Frost (one and two if you want me to be specific.) And no, I don't mean the movie with Michael Keaton, which I haven't seen but looked like it had loads of suck possibility.
Ah, and Mystery Men with Ben Stiller! Add that one to the big fat suck list.

"You're outta sight."

again...ill have to disagree with you on mystery men. i just watched that movie day before yesterday and the cast is spectacular. lots of funny jokes hidden away in it.

and plus any move where shannon elizebeth is sexually assulted by a snowman with a carrot-dick is A-OK in my book.

Ooh, I wish I had thought of that. I hate Kevin Smith movies. They're the worst.

The only movies I've ever walked out of were Moulin Rouge and Gigli. Ray Davies and I sat through about 1/3 of Moulin Rouge and couldn't stand it so we decided to leave and go to Best Buy instead.

Hmmm, I've been wanting to rent that one for years for comedy value. I remember it had a hologram of the snowman on the front, and it looked very funny.

Some more movies I think were sucky:
The Island of Dr. Moreau
Cool As Ice (lol)
Judge Dred
Batman & Robin
Speed 2:Cruise Control
Ace Ventura: When nature calls

I am just stating the fact that these movies are not Academy Award winners or even in that category. I happen to like a bunch of "suck" movies. I just thought of another, Dreamcatcher. Great book, terrible movie. But I would watch it again. See, it just depends on whether or not you are a fan of bad movies. Man, is that hypocritical! Here's to bad movies and the people who watch them.

"After it's over, I want you to say, "My what a lovely tea party."

I never will because that movie was AWESOME! Voight, J-Lo, Ice Cube, Stoltz, Kari Wuhur, Owen Wilson! How could it be bad?

"Is it just me or does the jungle make you really, really horny?"

Blasphemous. I remember my Stephen King era. I was 12.

Dude, I'm still in my Stephen King era. The movie is just really silly. The book, like I said is great. The movie just didn't meet my expectations. Anybody remember that movie called Watchers with Corey Haim, based on a Dean Koontz book. That was interesting.

"Slick shoes, are you crazy?"

corey haim and interesting are not two things i associate with one another

Interesting doesn't necessarily mean good.
Speaking of bad movies, how about Dream a little dream?

"I'm a trifle deaf in this ear, speak a little louder next time."

you are so busted.

(Edited by richarddawson at 3:03 pm on Mar. 10, 2004)

i'ma get stuck in the middle of a shit fit for this one but i fucking hated what i saw of Down With Love and am glad I fell asleep.

(Edited by deathscythe257 at 3:14 pm on Mar. 10, 2004)

Deep Blue Sea.

Not only did you fall asleep but you woke up with a sinus infection. Or did I imagine that?

i can only imagine what would have happened to my body if i'd been awake the entire time. Ebola, HIV, chlamydia... who knows? I'm pretty sure that my eyes and ears were trying to reject what they were seeing and hearing and my nasal cavities were adversly affected in their unfortunate folly of being adjacent to my optic and aural centers. Perhaps my liver were to shut to down if i had watched another ten minutes.

(Edited by deathscythe257 at 3:35 pm on Mar. 10, 2004)

I think Renee Zellweger singing is a reason to run screaming away from that one.
Three more: Junior, Bio-Dome, and Chairman of the Board

"Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang..."

The first movie that I ever saw in a stadium seating theater. What was I thinking?

I've been in my Stephen King era for years now, at least since 8th grade. I actually finished reading "Secret Window, Secret Garden," a couple of weeks ago. I plan on seeing the movie THIS FRIDAY. Johnny Depp and Jesus. Woot.

I am looking forward to Secret Window too. I think it will be really fucked up. I probably won't be able to see it until next week though so please tell me what you think about it. Have fun.

"How come Johnson can get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy!"

Another movie that I get sucked right into if I see it on TV.

John Hughes is pure genius!!! God help me, I love teenage angst movies from the 80's!!!!

"Those are nice earrings, Claire. Are those real diamonds Claire? I'll bet they are. Did you work for the money to buy those earrings Claire? I'll bet your daddy bought those for you. I'll bet they were a Christmas present. You know what I got for Christmas? A box of cigarettes."

I'd take cigarettes over diamomd earrings any day of the week. Unless it was to sell the earrings to buy cigarettes.

C'mon people. You haven't seen suck until you've seen...Troll 2 (There was a Troll 1?). The tagline is: " I swear that this is the absolute worst piece of refuse ever put to film. I've seen better acting in elementary school plays. I shit you not. Horrible horrible film. I watch at as an inspiration in pursuing my own filmmaking. Nothing could ever be as bad as this. Ever.

Go rent it if you don't believe me.

Here is what one viewer on Amazon had to say:

"Easily the worst movie ever made., March 2, 2004
Reviewer: A viewer from Nilbog
How can I start? I have completely lost all hope in humanity. The fact that there are actually enough people who would willingly pay hard-earned money to watch this affront to the human senses is enough to drive a person crazy.

There are so many things wrong with this film that I simply don't know where to begin. Let's start with the plot. There is no plot. Basically some goblins (notice I said goblins, because - oddly enough, even though the film is named "Troll 2" - there are no actual trolls in the movie) want to feed a human family food that turns humans into some sort of tree/human hybrid, and the only way for the film's hero to save his family is with a bologna sandwich (yes, I said "with a bologna sandwich").

Most of the movie appears as though it were filmed in the director's parent's backyard, while the costumes look like they were picked out of the Halloween bargain bin at the local Wal-mart. The actors were probably rounded up at the local bus station or homeless shelter and the entire film looks as though it could have been made for the modest price of $18.33. The director was no doubt either blindfolded or heavily medicated or both when he filmed this movie.

If you have never seen this movie then you should count your blessings. If you have then I am sorry for you, as I would not wish this movie on my worst enemies. Art is truly dead when garbage like this is allowed to be re-released on DVD."

I think maybe the bologna sandwich was an anti-vegetarianism statement. Right.

J

I want to see this movie.

hahaha, same here

OMG I remember those movies lol they were definitely bad! The trols always had nasty teeth and Green funky stuff dripping from their mouths or something? you took it way back !

I think I saw it as a combo with Troll 1. Now that's a bargain!

all this talk of trolls reminds me of another classic. another really camp/so bad its good horror film is Leprechaun 4: Leprechaun in the Hood.
couple choice scenes:
-Ice-T pulling an entire baseball bat out of his afro.
-The main heroes being chased into a church and then yelling out "COOLIO!!!!" and the camera turning around to find that Coolio and posse' are preforming at that church right at that very moment. after the song is through, Coolio is never mentioned again.

oh and ive seen that the is actually a sequel to this...sequel. have to check that out too.

what was up with all of the Horror hood movies? Remember tales from da hood?

i stand by my opinion that this movie is seriously terrifying.

HA HA! I remember that scene. It has to be one of the defining moments of modern cinema. Brilliant.

lol I guess that mortician old guy with that gray afro is a little creepy

"Thinner" is certainly the worst Stephen King adaptation. All I remember is the incredibly fat guy hits a gypsy while his wife is giving him a blow-job in the car??? Ugh.....

Gangs of New York was definitely the most disappointing movie I've seen in the theater, that and Matrix Reloaded.

Godfather three is so sad b/c the other two are so awesome. Sofia Coppola proves that you should never cast someone you love in your movie. Her acting is so bad.

Matrix 2 and 3 were definitely let-downs. I honestly believe that the first Matrix movie was supposed to be the "only" movie, but because of the commercial success, a trilogy was pulled out.
Another bad Stephen King adaptation, "Maximum Overdrive." I don't know why, but the man has had terrible luck making his books into films. Has anyone seen "Secret Window" yet? I'm worried to ask. Hopefully not another King disappointing story to movie deal. I would be interested in someone doing "The Long Walk" though. That's an interesting story and would make one hell of a film if done correctly.

"look me in the eyes..."

(Edited by BittersweetMe at 12:14 pm on Mar. 17, 2004)

but dont forget about the awesome AC/DC soundtrack to that film.


SINK THE PINK!!!!

I plan to see it soon. I doubt I'll be disappointed since it involves Johnny, but I have heard that it's not that scary.

Although it has an amazing cast, excluding Julia Stiles, I hated the 2000 Hamlet. I'm thinking maybe I should give it another try since I love so many people in it (Kyle MacLachlan, Bill Murray, Steve Zahn, Ethan Hawke, Liev Schreiber...), but I'd probably still hate it. I also feel the same way about the Kenneth Branagh Hamlet, so I guess I just don't like Hamlet in general.

I don't know. I need to go back and re-watch Reloaded and Revolutions. I remember Reloaded being pretty good. Revolutions was just cheesedick, though. Especially the last 15 minutes. Anyway, the first one was definitely the best.

i liked that version. i love hamlet.

Wow. This is a blast from the past. I'm amazed that anyone else out there has actually seen this piece of shit. I'll go on record as saying that this is easily the worst movie of all time. I've never seen anything that can touch it. Truly awful. I can't say enough. Did you notice that the goblins were from Nilbog (flip it around backwards folks)? And I remember noticing the thing about the movie starring goblins despite its name. What a turd. Thanks for bringing this one up.

I've seen parts of this. I never could remember the name though. Just that it was in Esperanto. Pretty hilarious stuff.

I like the Branagh one but am not crazy about the Hawke one. The Zeffirelli (with Gibson) one is my favorite, I think.

I, too, love Hamlet.

I was watching VH1 the other night and was reminded of another movie not to see ever: Rockstar. I saw this on a plane once and seriously considered jumping out.

The movie was in Esperanto? Who the hell speaks Esperanto?

I was told by someone I trust to watch Scary Movie. They owe me two hours of my life back.

I loathe that movie. I blame that movie for the downfall of comedy over the last few years. It's disgusting.

when the first one came out I took a date to see it. my date puked during the movie she was so disgusted. then again...she wanted to see the movie. crazy.

I'm relieved to know I'm not the only one that's happened to.

During what part?

she did it twice. the first i can't remember, but the second was when dude shoots the girl into the ceiling. she ran out of the theatre disgusted. like i said...she picked the movie.

Did you take her to 12th and porter before the movie???



ohhhh I didn't mean that. I ate there the other day and survived.

That part was so funny. I'm laughing now just thinking about it.

whatever you do, do not see the movie "swimming pool". i should have taken ghostflower's advice at video culture. it was quite terrible.

I watched an movie called uh..borderline and I think it had a preview for swimming pool on there. Wherever I saw the preview for I can just remember thinking with a name like that I just don't think it would be a good movie. I think they were trying to pass it off as some kind of seductive thriller thing. and I can just remember it looking bland.

I heard it was really suspenseful, and the preview I saw made it look pretty scary. It wasn't. Ray Davies' commentary throughout the entire thing, however, was rather enjoyable.

i didnt see swimfan but ill bet it was bad