This is my first post ever, so I thought i'd make it memorable and add a little humor to your day by presenting my on take on The Featurs song "Two By Two" entitled "Screw By Screw". So here it goes.

I would fuck her 'til the day I die
She's so hot it makes me wonder why,
No one has been between her thighs
But knowing me i'm gonna try.

I could work it real good,
With my big fat cock
Holding on to her ass,
While I fucking rock.

I wish we could have some sex tonight
An orgasm with her would be delight
I'd fuck her good I'd fuck her right
Then i would know if her vavayvay's tight

I could work it real good,
With my big fat cock
Holding on to her ass,
while I fucking rock.

Screw by screw she came,
Will never be the same
(repeat last lines several times and add the chorus at the end and you have the basic idea).

So that was it. Go ahead, sing it, it works. Thought i'd make a few laughs and hope all enjoy the liberties i took with this song.

paul, while this might humor some, it will definately offend others. look out.

I here-by apologize for any previous posts i may have made. Sorry to those of you who may be offended in any way.

yeah, let's keep it the original way... i mean, come on, it's about their twins. don't mess it up

unposted

(Edited by paulfreaksmeout at 1:48 am on May. 9, 2004)

how does paul mccartney freak you out?

i'm neither humored, nor offended. and i'm not going to ninja him either.

Ummm... OK.

[That's all I have to say.]

fucking hilarious.

(Edited by richarddawson at 2:53 am on May. 9, 2004)

Speaking of our pal mr

Real Ultimate Power is amazing.

Visit. It has important info like the following:

FACTS:
1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

With info like that, you can't go wrong.

Will

ninjas are the new mullets.

So, does that mean you'll be growing a ninja soon, Keith?

i've looked that site over 3 times, and i still laugh thinking about it. i like the alternate ending section with the hippos. the ghost stories are awesome too.

Way to turn this thread into something funny guys. That is a very funny site.

.....a guitar wails hard in the background....

The ninja began with a warning: “If any hippo here cannot handle this type of crap, I suggest you leave right now.” And some actually did. Then he began.



(Edited by HaveSomeSoma at 12:51 pm on Feb. 1, 2003)

...to get the audience pumped...

I love the court case where they kid who runs the ninja website is sued for inciting voilence in kids. The judge tells him to settle down and he craps on the floor.. or something hilarious like that.

I like the line that ninjas cut off heads all of the time and don't even think twice about it

. . . yeah . . .

ha ha ha ha real ultimate power is so fucking funny.

by the way, last summer, jordan and I created some alternate features lyrics that aren't dirty and juvenile. this is to "walk you home"

spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiderman fights the
greeeeen goblin
on the dr. pepper can
iiiiiin my ha-a-a-and.

and that's it. short but sweet.

(Edited by stalker on skates at 7:41 am on Feb. 4, 2003)

Yeah ninjas are the new mullets, or the new midgets, or the new rednecks, or whatever. That website is soooo 2002.