I recently received a Features T-Shirt which I purchased from this website. I requested XL or L. I got a 'Large.'

While I am not huge, I am apparently not small enough for a 'Large.' Simply put, this shirt makes me look like I have boobies. I have never wanted to have boobies, although I have appreciated them on other people. If you have boobies, you might look good in this shirt. I do not look good in this shirt. In fact, when I saw it on me, I had to point at me and laugh derisively.

I figured I would offer the shirt to somebody who would not look ridiculous wearing it. Unless you are anorexic or just plain tiny, there is no way this would be too large for you.

While a 'best boobies' contest would be fun (for me, at least), it's not exactly inclusive. Feel free to send photos anyway.

So, in 150 words or less, please write on the topic: 'Why I Deserve a Free Features T-Shirt' and submit to keith@lexingrad.net no later than March 15, 2002. I will be the sole judge. Winning entry will be posted here.

Thanks!

So far...2 entries. Doesn't anybody want this thing?

I want it, but, alas, I'm not worthy.

sadly, it probably won't fit me either.

'ode to my boobies'

when it's this chilly outside,
a girl's boobies hurt,
so it'd sure be nice
to have a cozy features' shirt.

thank you. love, freezetag




(Edited by freezetag at 7:08 am on Mar. 12, 2002)

Maybe if you shave your chest...

gonna type my essay tonight...free is a good word.

And lo, pornography hath reared its ugly head on the Features message board...

humblest apologies, as i realize that many of you here had never actually seen boobies before.
pornography gone.
over and out.

Ummm. I totally missed the pornography. Could you re-post it please?

'maybe if you shave your chest...'

classic.

I bet posting more graphic pornography would ensure receiving a free shirt.

YaDaDaDa is just excited because that picture was the first time he'd ever seen a topless woman. Welcome to the wonderful world of women, YDDD!

so what do i get if i post my boobs again, yadadada?

(besides the continuing lack of respect that i didn't need this message board to get from jamie carroll)

and i will give the lawnwrangler, keith, deevol, whoever a t-shirt if they promise *not* to shave their chests. hairy chest=hot.

thankyou.

In that case, wrangler is the hottest ever, literally in the summer.

my hairy chest. finally, some relevant conversation!

So who won the shirt?

I think we shold be able to share our essays on the message board; I'm interested in knowing what my competition is.
Here's my essay:
I have boobies; they are fairly large, many people compliment me on them. If I had a features shirt, maybe matt would compliment my breasts too, and then I would be the happiest person that I know. Thank you.