First off, what's with the assanine and completely uncalled for posting of jokes from the short-bus having nothing to do with The Features?
(Watch, those posts will be from some longtime features fan's kid or an actual retard and BAM! just like the Milk Machine, everybody hates me now. Anyhow...)

Everytime the features play New York I seem to find out either after after the show or during the show. Now I know full well that if I was the Features fan that I should be then I would have been able to inform myself via the website and/or blog. Unfortunately, I am a lazy bastard and a bit of a poser. Don't get me wrong I've been a Features enthusiast since before even the rise and fall of Limp Bizkit, and I've been reading this messageboard even before the time of brianeno2. But I've too long been far removed from the hub of Features activity, and dammit if this New York City can't be a demanding mistress.
Here's a little anecdote for you. The last time The Features played in NYC I found out 20 mins. before the show, as I was sitting down at Giants stadium in the Meadowlands (for those of you who don't know, both New York NFL teams play in Giants stadium which might be embarassing to the Jets if not for the fact that the New York Giants' stadim, often refered to as the Meadowlands is actually in New Jersey. How either team has kept the city's respect and managed to keep this fact from the knowledge of the common people is beyond me, and almost completely unrelated to my problem seeing the last Features show) because I had been given a free ticket to see a band called the Rolling Stones. I had just sat down with a beer in each hand (limit: two per person you see) 6 rows away from the far left corner of the stage when an old firend sends me a text message saying that the Features are playing somewhere like mercury lounge or some place like that. What kind of hell am I in where I have to choose between a free seat close enough to see Mick Jagger's wind-up key, or finding some gypsy cab in Jersey that will charge me $60 bucks and a my firstborn to see a long overdue Features show that may or may not have already started?

I ask you, ladies and gentlemen of the board; Tell me, What would you have done in my situation? Have you ever been in such a Features quandry? Who else has had their Features fun foiled? Make me feel better about missing yet another fine Features performance.

Thanks to everyone who has helped me find the Features in the past and keep up the good work.

(Edited by MarshallStacks at 4:06 am on Dec. 7, 2006)

That's called Spam. I delete those threads- normally within a few minutes or hours of when they're posted. When you see them, it's because I haven't seen them yet. What you're seeing is likely a small percentage of what is actually posted.

You're welcome.

between myself & stanley, we try, we really do. it's hard to keep watch for you in nyc, though. you should get back down here where we can look after you properly.

don't they have some kind of scene-like music directory you could pick up on one of the myriad of street corners within a quarter-mile of you? surely. it's roughly the size of a phone book i'm sure, but there's got to be a better way than finding out while watching a bunch of old has-beens pretend they're still in some way or another relevant.

as for the short bus jokes--there's a lot of shady crap going down on this here messageboard. most of the activity these days seems to come from spammers and me, either of which would normally be somewhat alarming, but both is cause for extreme measures.

let's torch this son of a bitch!

Thank you indeed Carl. Certainly no intentions of insulting your administrative skills. In all honesty I am a bit of a truant when it comes to this message board, but it's nice to know you've been keeping up the good work all this time.

But Carl man, if you're going to post in this thread why not come down with the common people whilst you moderate and leave us an anecdote like the man asked for? He's just tryin' to stimulate some discussion. Help a topic out my man...

P.s. thanks for the effort mr. smithson, and yes we have a scene-like publication up here. It's called the village voice and it's free and I'm often too preoccupied or too lazy to pick one up from week to week. Nobody's fault but my own.

P.p.s. Somebody should tell these messageboard spammers that all the cool kids are spamming it up on myspace now.

Geeze, that CarlW can be such a jerk sometimes!! He NEVER contributes to the conversation.

Here's my latest two quandries:

1) My lovely girlfriend bought us tickets to the Chicago NYE show during the presale (as an anniversary present). We figured if we changed our minds or were able to get on the guest list (CarlW hooks me up sometimes when he's not busy being a jerk), we could easily sell them and probably turn a nice profit (which of course, we would spend entirely on Features merchandise **ahem**). Unfortunately, the show didn't sell out as we had anticipated, so, after some other arrangements fell through and we decided we couldn't afford the trip, we found ourselves with some hard-to-sell tickets. Luckily, FeaturesGirl is going to help us out and take the tickets off our hands. Problem solved. Except I'll miss out on an historic Features show

2) I live ~600 miles from Nashville now, but I'll be in town for their next show at the Cannery. Unfortunately my oldest friend from grade school/boy scouts/ church/etc is getting married that night (hence my presence in Nashville). So, I find myself hoping we can duck out of the reception early enough to get to the Cannery. Does this make me a bad friend or just a really good fan?

(Edited by carligula at 10:40 am on Dec. 8, 2006)

Touche...

Thanks for that.

And as far as being a bad friend or a really good fan, I say, why can't it be both!

I'm in NYC now and I did go to the Mercury Lounge show that night. It was one of the best nights here, mainly due to the fact that I hadn't seen the band in so long (so long being 5ish months).

So...New York again, Features? Huh?