I found myself thinking...self, Matt Pelham writes wicked-awesome songs about twin babies, love, God saving rock and roll, being serious, people with heads like a buffalo, and other topics that are more disputable (Darkroom)...but where will he turn next? What topic has he not hit on yet? Will he write a song about somebody like Sina? Has he already and we don't know? Hmm...I don't know. Anyway, I will now cut to the chase and ask you the discerning Features critic: What could Matt Pelham write about next?

Well, if you ask her, every guy eventually does.

hmmmm...with all the songs about the babies and the sweetest love anthem in existence,"the idea of growing old," something tells me that this guy might be the exception.

i feel that the next song matt writes will be an ode to the messageboard.

He should write a song about his bizarre resemblance to Brother Love.

i think he should go political.

ok, not really.

hehe...

you're funny

i'm thinking something about living in the south. i guess they could just cover alabama's "song of the south" or sneaky eaters "foot in the past" instead.

I seriously doubt they could afford the rights to a Sneaky Eaters song.

Whatever he chooses, I hope it's not too serious. My favorite songs are always the lighter, happier ones.

What do you mean? Darkroom is about developing photographs and interracial love... and nothing... nothing else.

I've been thinking about Matt's writing a bit lately too. Basically I was wondering how someone so happily married with children can still write songs like Buffalo Head. Then I found a post the explained Buffalo Head as record label rejection, not female rejection, and that satisfied me.

I think the next song will be about their experiences at SXSW.

Will

this much is true......brother love does slightly resemble matt.....

I think that Matt should be commissioned to write some sweet-ass Schoolhouse Rock songs.

Of course, it will be hard to top "Conjunction Junction," but Matt is pretty darn talented.

And he has pronouns.

that would be interesting....scary, but interesting.

actually, me and the skirts is about me.

i'd like another song about masturbation. or making out.

I don't see it. Not that I would be opposed to it.
Seems my girlfriend loves M att P. more than she loves me. I think Mr. Davies may have the same problem.

(Edited by Brother Love at 1:56 am on Mar. 5, 2003)

I think I found the new "secret word."

Scott

(Edited by Brother Love at 1:46 am on Mar. 5, 2003)

i do have this same problem.....

I don't think there's a resemblence in the face, so much. Mostly the stature (a little) and hair (a little).

he does have the hair.....

i think that matt should pull a fogerty and make the other guys write songs...

i think matt should write a song about his stalker (that would be me). i mean, not to be conceited, but don't we all want to hear a song about a stalker . . . esp. one who likes to ride around town on roller skates?

is it just me, or does the smiley at the top of this thread look like the matt picture on tom foolery's avatar?

Aww, it does look like Matt. It looks like the face he does when he forgets or messes up words during a song.

yes, it does look like matt (if he were african-american). i was going to point that out earlier today, but forgot to.

First, Brother Love that was a very clever way to change the words of 33 1/3.
Next, this Brother Love fellow sounds quite dreamy. Can anyone give me his number or is that against the rules?

Damn! Five posts in and you're trying to pick someone up on the messageboard? That's gotta be a record.

Will

it's definitely against the rules.....

it's definitely against the rules.....

oops posted it twice.

(Edited by ray davies at 11:41 pm on Mar. 5, 2003)

hmm...I think he's taken...

And that, ladies and gents, is why they call me Brother Love.

great avatar and even greater signature, brother love.

Thanks Mr. Davies.

I wish Matt would write some more songs about drugs. We haven't seen any since around the time Don left.

rabbit march?......which songs are you talking about?

I've always been particularly fond of that song for some reason. I can listen to it over and over again.

drugs? im sorry sir. that's against the rules as well.

I think you can listen to "Rabbit March" over and over again because the song is just itself over and over again.

"rabbit march" is about tripping...or freebasing coke, i can't decide.

I just can't like that song. It doesn't appeal to me. Though the fact that it may be about drugs makes it a little cooler...on second thought, no it doesn't.

I thought it was abundantly obvious that the Features were a drug band around the time they recorded the Mississippi Album.

i realized last night that matt's never cussed in a song. but now's not the time to start. we don't need no parental advisory on no damn ass muthafucking features cd. shit.

I was actually talking to some friends about that. I have wondered what it would be like to hear Matt cuss in a song. Just a little "ass" or "damn" would do.

Matt always seems like too nice a guy to cuss. Every time I've talked to him has evidenced this.

However, we can never be sure that Matt doesn't cuss, since in Circus, there are those few lines that to this day remain undecipherable. He could be letting the Man or us or somebody have it, and he could be saying all cusswords. "I've got no feeling/ I got my hell damn ass/ Oh oh oh oh Oooh".

Judging from when the song was written, though, he's probably referencing drugs in that song.

are yall jokin around or were/are they druggies?

We're all druggies here rachel, either accept the pipe, take the needle, or get out.

But seriously, I don't think they are druggies.

Yeah, I've always assumed Matt's just too swell of a guy to cuss. I don't think I would want to hear him say a bad word. It would be quite shocking.

And, Smee, I must say that I LOVE your current avatar. It's lovely.

they probably do some drugs that everyone does (or so i er..understand...), but i don't think anyone of them is going to overdose on smack anytime soon.

as for the cussing, i don't think i would like that. fuck fuckity fuck fuck, i will curse all damn day but matt is just too classy for it (well at least in his songs). I however, i am not.

We know that they're nicotine addicts.

I think that any vulgar language would ruin the band's nice, sweet, wholesome image. I find it amusing that so many of their shows are 18+ since they're music is so family-oriented. (Yes, I know the age limit at a show is the venue's decision and not the band's.) I think that following a song like "The Idea of Growing Old" with a song full of foul language (or even one full of innuendo like "Laid") would ruin the song's effect.

cussing in songs just seems lke a waste of space to me. it's almost as if the songwriter could not think of any of other word to say so they'll just say "fuck" or "shit".

I strongly agree

I think there are many songs where "fuck" and "shit" are supremely appropriate, and taking obscenity out of the song would have weakened it. Listen to any song by Elliott Smith, or The Eels.

(Edited by Ceeze at 5:18 pm on Mar. 11, 2003)

To me, cussing too often seems like a gimmick to attract pre-teen "punks" to one's music. Witness Offspring.

Ah geez, I'm finally back and I have to comment on the Avatar-change-a-palooza. ELT and Smee both have kicking avatars that remind me of my childhood. Sexy Sadie, verrrry cute avatar. And TF and YDDD...genius...

But the topic at hand, I too think that Matt is too much of a classy dude to curse in his songs. Even the strange innuendo in "Situation Gone Bad" has now been replaced. All for the better. As for the drugs, I hope none of them get the vicious dessert-habit that Weird Al has.

i like the way jarvis cocker uses foul language. i'm cool with cussin' if it adds to the mood of the song. ween swears a lot too.

I'm sure Matt could pull off a couple of bad words if he wanted to, but there's no reason for it if that's not the band's thing. But I'd agree with exliontamer...some bands just make it sound so good; the pixies in nimrod's son for instance, "you are the son of a motherfucker."

Yeah, I find it especially effective in "Baby Bitch".

Cussin' definitely has it's place in music. Especially when it's Julianna Hatfield. Keith knows what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Yeah, even though I said Matt was too classy of a dude, I still think cursing has a place in most songs. I think it would be too hard to imagine a Ludacris or Missy Elliot song without cursing (yes, I do have ghetto tendencies, but only for the comic value). I also find it odd that Oasis songs rarely curse, even though they had the highest "bleep" amount on their Behind The Music.

I could definitely have seen the words "whiny little bitch" being used in "There's A Million Ways..."....

cussing works for some people in their songs, others it doesnt.....

I got a trunk fulla' amps....

Good example Ceeze. Particularly the Eels example... rarely does the profanity feel forced in their music.

For a good example of the needlessness angle, though, which also has its points, I posit Tool: Though Aenima was filled with profanity, I've yet to detect a single instance in Lateralus... and the result is a much more mature sounding band.

Will

Going back to the Elliott Smith reference......i couldnt imagine the impact of a song like "say yes" without the profanity. like i said before, cussing works for some people....others it doesn't.

I have thought about the lack of cussing in the features songs as well. I am very glad that it is this way. I do not mind cussing in some songs but in others it does not seem right as Mr. Davies has already said. I believe it is the same in conversation. For some people, cussing works and for others it doesn't. I personally do not use bad language and if I did it definitely would not seem right. I agree with Sexy Sadie. Matt does not seem the type to cuss. He is always saying sweet things like, "Ya'll be careful going home." And "Thank you very much, I appreciate that." I am thinking that he is much too nice to cuss publicly.

I'm partial to Craig Murphy's (Boo Boo Bunny) great song, "Charlie Brown."

i am all about cursing in songs.

but on that last song on xo, i always laugh when he says "what a fucking joke", because it sounds kinda dumb in my opinion.

(Edited by 6969hOoBaInCuBuS420 at 4:18 pm on Mar. 14, 2003)

i just realized what your avatar- a girl getting slimed on you can't do that on television...that show was great. barth is my hero.

(Edited by damon at 6:50 pm on Mar. 15, 2003)

I have been wondering about that avatar.
I always loved that show. I remember having dreams about getting slimed.

i love it too. i wish they'd bring it back. there's a really cool site that i got the picture from, but i cant find the link anymore. it had a few streaming episodes and stuff.

I didn't realize what that was either. Anyway, they have a channel on digital cable (I'm sure someone will chime in with the name of it shortly) where they just show old Nickelodeon shows. I'm not sure if they show YCDTOT or not.

i think you speak of Noggin. i don't have it, but i'm pretty sure they don't show old episodes of that particular show.

Nope, but they do show old Clarissa and Pete & Pete episodes. Aside from those two and Daria (edited Daria), the station is pretty worthless. DeGrassi The Next Generation...ugh...

Yeah, I am not a fan of the Noggin.

Nick G.A.S. (Games and Sports) is much better. They show old episodes of SK8-TV, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Double Dare, Finders Keepers, and Nick Arcade among others....

What a shame. There is so much potential there.

I've always had a thing for girls who say aboot.

Legends of the Hidden Temple and Nick Arcade ruled me ™ back in the day...

Will

(Edited by Wiyum at 8:00 pm on Mar. 16, 2003)

I've always thought that Nick should invest in a station that shows nothing but Clarissa, Pete, Salute Your Shorts, Hey Dude, Welcome Freshmen, Roundhouse, the old Nick Jr shows (Today's Special, Grimm's Fairy Tail Classics, Lil Bits, Noozles, David The Gnome), and the old game shows (which GAS shows). That would be marvelous....sigh...

I really want to see Hey Dude again.

a friend of a friend of mine went on Guts one time. He likes to show his piece of the Krag at parties.

Wasn't that the show with the manequin? When someone said "Hocus Pocus Alamagokus", he came to life. Is that right? I used to watch that show religiously! It was excellent!

Yes, you are correct. His name was Jeff and his lady friend's name who designed the department store's displays was Jody. The little cute mouse was named Muffy and Sam was the security guard...he had a cat named Penelope,and his favorite meal was Sardine and Jelly Bean sandwiches... Yeah, those were the main characters. It was probably my favorite show from my childhood (it and Pinwheel). I still have one episode on tape that I watch every now and then. I almost put up an avatar of Jeff the other day but decided not to. I didn't know if anybody would know what it was.

(Edited by Sexy Sadie at 9:36 pm on Mar. 17, 2003)

Man, I've always attempted to describe that show to people, and no one ever knew what I was talking about. Sam's hair always reminded me of french fries. If memory serves me correctly, the main woman had an afro, correct?

Yes, Jody did have an afro-esque-do.

And, I never really thought about it, but Sam's locks do resemble french fries.

That's FREEDOM fries.

Maybe Sexy Sadie can help me out because I've got a question regarding pinwheel that has been killing my soul for a couple of days. What were the names of the two puppets who always played "gotcha last?" I think these guys were on pinwheel, but i'm not positive.

Plus and Minus. I always liked Minus more... he was the purple one with white hair. There was one segment titled "Plus Goes to the Moon" during which Minus always kept him from going by asking if he remembered to pack certain things on his rocket ship. He kept distracting Plus so much that he missed the takeoff.

(Edited by Sexy Sadie at 12:42 am on Mar. 18, 2003)

Thank you so much. That had really been bothering me. I never really watched pinwheel very much, but for some reason I can remember those puppets punching each other more than just about anything else from my childhood.

You're welcome, Brother Love. I'm always happy to help solve mysteries of classic Nick programs.

In an amazing bout of coincidence, I'd always considered Pinwheel and Today's Special to be the Nick knowledge that I had that seemingly only I could recall... so good to see another out there who knows the love.

What I've lately been unable to remember is the name of the Koala show... the Japanimation one with the skateboards and the Rabbit-best-friend, not Noozles...

Will

I believe you speak of The Adventures of the Little Koala. The koala's name was Roo Bear.

I also loved The Noozles. It was one of my favorites.

I'm glad to see that someone else shares my love for classic Nick, too. Most people look at me like I'm a weirdo.

Okay, if you or anybody else can help me on this...I would be so appreciative...and amazed. I have mentioned this show to so many people and absolutely nobody has any idea whatsoever of what I speak.

I used to watch this show in the 80's. I believe it came on PBS because I watched it at home, and I only got Nick at my grandparents' house. I remember the tune of the theme song and it went...something, something, something..."to find a hidden island treasure", or something like that. There was a pirate guy who looked like Bo from Days of Our Lives...long black hair, medium build. He wore the normal pirate get-up (white ruffly shirt, eye patch). And there was this older lady (40's?) who wore a reddish colored dress. She was a teacher or something and was all proper and whatnot (maybe English). They were stranded on this island together, and they were searching for the hidden island treasure, while teaching children valuable lessons. Anyway, I've looked it up all over the internet several times and have failed to find a single thing.

Do you remember this, Wiyum?????

I remember this show very, very well. It was probably my favorite (except for when Spider-Man showed up on Electric Company). Unfortunately, I don't remember the name, although I'm thinking it was something generic like "Treasure Island". It was hard to keep up because it was a "filler" show. I think every episode was only like 10 minutes long.

Wow, two threads that coverge on pirates. Crazy!

Yay, I'm gald to see somebody else remembers it...I've always figured its name was "Hidden Island Treasure" or something generic like you said, Carligula.

Gosh, those crazy pirates are everywhere.

yeah, i know what you mean. it also sounds dumb when he says, ":i always feel like shit"

i am the only person alive who doesn't like "you can't do that on television". it seriously grossed me out as a child. todays special and pinwheel were my FAVORITES!!!.

noggin is the shit. they play GHOSTWRITER. the best show EVER!.

I never was a fan of "You Can'd Do That on Television" either. Yeah, I watched it a lot, but that's probably because it came on before or after one of my favorites on Nickelodeon. So, you are not the only one.

Ghostwriter is the best. I loved that show; it was multi-cultural and stressed reading and writing. I thought that was great for a kids show. I was a nerdy little kid, so I of course loved it.

I wish I had Noggin. Ghostwriter and Pete and Pete!

Pete and Pete is more than great.

true that. pete and pete were great. i always wanted to drink orange lazarus after baseball games...

Last spring I spent 2 hours in Digital Planet searching for the Pete and Pete tape they once had. It's gone, and I can't find it anywhere. Not even Ebay.

I've found that with eBay and ridiculously rare things (i.e. Spongebath samplers and sealed copies of the Features EP), you have to search every week or two. It all turns up eventually; it's just some things are rarer than others. The recent find--a sealed Japanese copy of Fluid Ounces' Foreign Legion. It's around $40 through traditional channels.