I want to know why the hell the band doesn't all wear purple bowties.  What sort of insane decision is it to play any show, much less all of them without wearing a purple bowtie.  What kind of manager would allow this to happen?  In other opinions, they're probably one of the top five bands in the country right now.  I imagine there would have been many conversations like this across the country:

1: Ever hear that really good band that wears the purple bowties?
2: What albums have they put out the past ten years?
1: None
2: Oh!  Kraftwerk!  Yeh, I like them a lot.
1: No, not Kraftwerk.  The Features.
2: Oh yeh, The Features.  I would have never known that if it weren't for the purple bowties.

But, alas, this conversation will never take place.

dedicated to my pal Rory who doesn't think I criticize him enough
keep on smiling buddy, i love you with all my heart.