Ray Davies, Damon, Stripper Vicar, Mitch and I always end up talking about old school wrestling when we get together at Features shows. I have even heard that the beloved drummer named Rollum loves the wrestling of the 80s and 90s. Thus, I have found myself wondering...which wrestler is Rollum most like? As a result, I naturally wonder about the other Features as well. Parrish kind of reminds me of Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart. As for the other Features, you make the call.

(Edited by richarddawson at 11:56 pm on Feb. 9, 2003)

Parrish= Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart (you cant deny it.....he's the secret weapon )

Roger= Hacksaw Jim Duggan (when he had his beard of course....and his bass is somewhat reminiscent of a 2X4...)

Rollum= The 1-2-3 Kid (aka "The Lightning Kid", aka "Syxx", aka "X-Pac".....why? two reasons.....1) i think he knows karate or he's taken some kind of kung fu and 2) he's the only super skinny wrestler i could think of....)

Matt= Mr. Fuji (since he's the mastermind behind it all and he's been known to throw salt in the eyes of opening bands that he doesnt care for...)

(Edited by ray davies at 10:55 pm on Feb. 9, 2003)

excellent call. picturing matt as mr. fuji just literally made me laugh out loud.

i know he can become cliched, but someone has to be represented by macho man. how about rory? oooooooh yeeeeeeah!

this topic gives me the perfect opportunity to ask if anyone besides ray and i say sgt. slaugther tonight... he's gotten soooooo fat (not there is anything wrong with that...only when he tries to it into the same tights he wore 15 years ago). a remember seeing him 4 or 5 years ago on one of the pay per views, and he was nowhere near as big as he is now. granted, it's not a big deal, but he should't have worn the singlet.

i think x-pac is the singer from the lucky guns.

(Edited by stripper vicar at 11:30 pm on Feb. 9, 2003)

When I think of Rollum, the "Slickster" comes to mind. Though "Slick" is black and Rollum is not, I do have on good word that Slick is German too. Plus, Slick always wore skinny ties and was definitely the hippest cat in the WWF.

I love Ray Davies' analogy of the bass to a 2x4, and I can see the Hacksaw Jim Duggan reference. Duggan always stood up for the USA, even when Sgt. Slaughter got in the way. Just like when Roger spoke up for the people outside of the Boro when the management was against them.

The more obvious Matt likeness would be either of the "Killer Bees". They wore costumes that made them look like giant bumblebees and Matt wrote the song "Bumblebee". However, Matt is more reserved and calculated like Jake "The Snake" Roberts. Maybe Matt's next song will be about DDTs, a snake named Damian, and twin babies.

If someone could coerce Parrish into wearing black wrestling tights with yellow polka dots, he would look oddly comparable to Dusty Rhodes. But who would be "Sweet Sapphire"?

On a similar note, Roadie from Character looks more like the Repo Man everytime he wears that trenchcoat.

no, the bezerker is the lead singer from the lucky guns.....does anyone else besides me remember the bezerker? he was a viking character from around 1992 in the wwf....

(Edited by ray davies at 11:35 pm on Feb. 9, 2003)

dont forget about damien's replacement "lucifer"...i still remember when i heard that earthquake killed damien by sitting on him......very sad.....

Don't you remember the Berzerker? I could see him singing "Chuck Berry Makes The Cats Go Crazy".

(Edited by richarddawson at 11:59 pm on Feb. 9, 2003)

im glad someone else remembers this very obscure character from the beginning of the lame period of the wwf.....

Damn you Ray Davies. You posted that right before me. You're a sly one. FYI: Berzerker was managed by "Slick". I could see Rollum and the singer from the Lucky Guns working together...

(Edited by richarddawson at 11:42 pm on Feb. 9, 2003)

what can i say.....we think alike....i guess that's what we get for being wrestling freaks in our younger days......

matt meeks= the honky tonk man

if they only knew...

Parrish- Hillbilly Jim
Matt- Damien Demento
Roger- Crush
Rollum- Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake
Matt Meeks- James E. Cornette
Rory- Repo Man

i was also thinking that as well......i also considered ravishing rick rude, but rollum isnt a dick to the fans, and he doesnt have a moustache....

this is a great topic.
rollum-"mr. wonderful" paul orndorff, alex wright, or ernest "the cat" miller
rory-"the mouth of the south" jimmy hart
parrish-bobby heenan, dusty rhodes, or arn anderson
meeks-gorilla monsoon
roger-bret hart(they actually act alike if you look at bret hart's late 90s wcw days)or the ultimate warrior
matt-sting or some other sissy wrestler.

parrish should get a mask like vader wore...that would be insane...

parrish also needs to get that huge football pad thing that vader used to wear back in wcw...i remember that it would spew smoke out of it. i can imagine a huge finale to "thursday" where parrish would get out the pad thing and have it spew smoke at the end of the show......parrish-bomb!

i think matt and rollum should dress up like the legion of doom...face paint and all...

Yo Ray Davies and Sexy Sadie, do you remember when Ernest "The Cat" Miller came to our Sophomore English class in high school? It was excellent! He's actually from Gallatin and he stopped by to talk to our Ms. Highers for a while bc she was his favorite. We talked about wrestling with him for a little while and it was very cool.

On a separate note Ray, don't forget about Jake's most recent snake "Revelation". Perhaps you have tried to forget about that period of his career. I only wish that I could too.

(Edited by richarddawson at 2:16 pm on Feb. 10, 2003)

I must give many accolades to exliontamer for the Bobby Heenan reference. I'm glad someone mentioned him. I laughed out loud for about five minutes after reading the part comparing Matt to a "sissy wrestler". Remember in the early 90's when Sting had a "rat tail"? For those too young to remember the "rat tail" hair fad, be thankful. FYI: Sting and the Ultimate Warrior were tag team partners in a smaller federation before they became famous, meaning Roger and Matt would be like tag team partners.

HAHAHAHA, YES!!!!!! Oh shit, I'm still laughing my ass off! That would be sooooo funny! "Ooooo, it's Parrish Time!" HAHAHA. I'd love to see a "Parrish Bomb". I would pay for the pads and smoke and everything just to see Parrish do that at a show while they play "Thursday"! It would be so worth it!

matt should adopt ricky the dragon steamboat's entrance attire...he should also blow fire...

actually, that was "cat garrett", a crappy wrestler from the U.S.W.A.......i wish it were ernest "the cat" miller, but unfortunately it wasnt.....

Since my knowledge of professional wrestling is completely nonexistant, I guess I'll do the next best thing: Star Wars characters!

Parrish: Chewbacca mixed with Max Rebo. Parrish has Chewie's mechanical knowledge and hairiness as well as Max Rebo's (of the Max Rebo band in ROTJ) excellent keyboarding skills.

Roger: Han Solo. A great guy with a heart of gold, who's also a charmer and a rebel (Greedo=Boro Management?)

Rollum: Anakin Skywalker mixed with Darth Maul. Rollum is one part man-child and one-part bad ass so this makes sense. Plus, due to Rollum's amazing drumming skills, I'm sure he could handle a double-sided lightsaber.

Matt: C-3PO mixed with R2-D2. He possesses the almost machine like talent for producing great songs, as well as C-3PO's timid demeanor mixed with the feistiness of the little astromech droid.

Yes. Yes I think I have just posted the absolute geekiest post on this board. Someone, please outdo me in terms of geekiness.

sorry, I can only outdo you in alcoholism.

Matt Pelham would definately be the Genius not only are they both poets but it fits exliontamer's criteria of a sissy wrestler.

I also believe that if Parrish were to shave his beard and put on a little face paint then he would be a dead ringer for Doink the Clown.
I think Matt could also pull off Doink, only because he could get his kids to dress up like miniature versions of himself, They could be Mitt and Mott, and they could hide underneath the stage.

The Features = Men on a Mission

Hahaha! Mitt and Mott, that's hilarious! If only the Features could ever be as as musically talented as Mabel and the other dude from Men On A Mission...

There shall be no more Star Wars talk in the wrestling/Features thread.

My bad y'all...

That would be Sir Mo. Unless you are thinking about their manager early on who rapped them to the ring. That would be Oscar

Yes, I do remember that. . . And I think that's just about all I can contribute to this topic.

You're just jealous because you have a bounty on your head in 73 systems. Hey, I'd be cranky too.

indeed.........i find it weird that the genius was randy savage's brother......

sad news in the wrestling world:

"Mr Perfect" Curt Henning died today apparently......damon and i would like to say RIP.

http://prowrestling.com/2/6837.shtml

We need to keep extraneous topics out of this wrestling thread. In order to do this, I am forming a strike force of like-minded wrestling/Features fans. This is the beginning of the end of the Features messageboard as you know it.

Hmm.....eh...I feel fine...

(and now I'm pelted with folding chairs and hauled off to the LMWFF Strike Force's P.O.W. camp)

Let this be a lesson to all of you who might oppose us. The time for change is upon us. NMO for life.

what striking revelations!

(Edited by spiral stairs at 9:48 pm on Feb. 10, 2003)

nMo is so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

Thank you to Mr. Vicar and the others who have secretly pledged allegiance to the nMo. You have made wise decisions.

On a separate note, Mr. Slattery is being tortured severely in our POW camp.

(Edited by richarddawson at 11:25 pm on Feb. 10, 2003)

An interesting topic indeed. It may make little sense, but entertains me greatly.

Oh yeah I forgot, Star Wars sucks, never mention that again on this board

no way man, star wars is good, oooooooooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeah!

Star Wars is cooler than you will ever be.....Star Wars rules (even though i like star trek a little bit better)....DIG IT!



(Edited by ray davies at 8:47 am on Feb. 11, 2003)

Star Wars is good indeed, but lest I forget to mention that your cohort Mr. Slattery (nMo POW) is now being subjected to numerous distasteful pornographic films involving fat middle-aged men and Sally Jesse Raphael. Do not repeat his mistakes or you shall find yourselves in a similar predicament. Also, cross the nMo too much and you might find Sally Jesse Raphael replaced with Lee Iacocca.

PS: He is very afraid.


(Edited by richarddawson at 11:31 am on Feb. 11, 2003)

I think that each Feature should enter the stage with their own theme music like wrestlers do. Which wrestler's theme music is most fitting for each person?

Roger - Stone Cold or Rick Rude
Parrish - Doink, b/c it has the Moog sound
Rollum - Mr. Perfect or Ultimate Warrior (if only there were ropes for him to shake...)
Matt - I reiterate exliontamer's quote and think that the sissy wrestler aspect would carry over to this topic also. I could see Matt enter to the tune of the New Age Outlaws. "Your ass better caaaallll somebodyyy!"

OR maybe they could all enter at the same time with Degeneration X's music.

Going back to the comparisons b/w Features and wrestling...Rollum and Roger could be like the Rock N Roll Express, but they would have to grow their hair a bit longer.

Matt and Parrish could be Power and Glory

just because i said that i didn't like star wars, doesn't mean that i don't like star trek. i find it to be an enjoyable program

you have redeemed yourself......

ON A COMPLETELY SEPARATE NOTE...I was reading some old posts per the suggesstion of Ray Davies; and though the current nMo seems to have faded, I never knew about AllmanBrosFan and Bigsexyman or whatever their names were. That was some for real hostile takeover stuff. Man, we were just a band of lame poseurs compared to those guys.