I was once a sailor back in 1982.
Sailed around the world inside a fiberglass canoe
Searching for the antidote that my poor heart could use.
I was only seven, but it's what I had to do.

And everybody says,
'You can't be serious,
You can't be serious, no!
'You can't be serious,
You can't be serious, oh!'

I set out to find my girl, and, my girl, I found you.
I would do it all again just to tie your shoe.
Serious, I'm serious. Every word is true.
I would do it all again just to tie her shoe.

And everybody says,
'You can't be serious,
You can't be serious, no!
'You can't be serious,
You can't be serious, oh!'

And everybody says,
'You can't be serious,
You can't be serious, no!
'You can't be serious,
You can't be serious, oh!'

And everybody says,
'You can't be serious,
You can't be serious, no!
'You can't be serious,
You can't be serious, oh!'

-------------------------------

These are the lyrics that were used in the version recorded with Matt Mahaffey. However, by the beginning of 2000, the lyrics in the verses had completely changed.

The Mahaffey recording was made in Feb 2000.

I think you're referring to a certain bootleg that includes the first performance of 'Serious' from Jan 2000. As we know, the lyrics of Features songs tend to evolve quickly after their first performance and then level off a bit.

this is off topic, sorry, but why don't they ever play this song? its one of my favorites.

i think we need to beg matt to play this one at the next show.....

I always thought it was 'I'll sell out to find my girl...' But 'I set out' is so much better.

My friends and I came to the conclusion that the band always plays what Rollum wants to play. If Rollum doesn't want to play it they don't and vice versa. By that reasoning Rollum hates Serious. Plus everytime people scream for it at shows, he always says 'NO' very quickly.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has noticed that Rollum is no Ringo...

I think this is partially true because I've also seen him veto God Save Rock N Roll...but you have to respect the torture that he puts his body through to bring us such excellent drumming. I think he's earned a free pass to be a prima donna, just as long as keeps saying no to Psycho Killer & never says no to Action or Don't Lie or Circus...

or paid to think........

good call on Rollum being a prima donna. what a diva.

rollum's really nice i think and hilarious. he was making me laugh so much at the boro show with his little side comments. i enjoyed talking to him at the lipscomb show too, he was really cool. they all are, their personalities are so great because they are so different and the complement each other so well.

they should play serious atleats once again......if they play it again i'll cut rollums grass for him....

I'll EAT his grass for him, and he doesn't even have to play Serious. I may just ask to see under his shirt or something.

Maybe if all of the ladies on this message board went to the stage and showed Rollum some serious clevage he would be persuaded to play 'Serious.'

i don't think that would work. i think he'd prefer candy over boobies.

of course he would. here's a brief dramitazition-

pimp: 'rollum, can interest you in a fine lady tonight? perhaps a little brown sugar could excite you? her name is shaniqua and she is eager to please!'

rollum: 'i'll pass on the fine lady, but i'll take some of your brown sugar. is it domino, my brotha?'

pimp: 'you dumbass crakcer fool!'

FIN

*the pimp was played by richard roundtree

*rollum was played by rip torn

and finally, a joke-
what does p. diddy wash his undies in?

BLEEEAAOOCH!!!!!!!!!

that was awesome!!!

If I had it to do over again my new name would either be Bleeeaaooch or DumbassCrackerFool. LW, you should have written Jackie Treehorn into the story.

i told that same joke on the way home from the features show last night where they played serious.

boo yah.

apparently not, Mike_D.

wow rachel, I don't even remember making that post. alcohol and the MB are so hand-in-hand, I don't know if I'll remember this one either.

Wow, somebody must have some SERIOUS free time on her hands. Boo-yeah!

Seriously, though (pun intended), good call Rachel.

A pun and a boo-yeah. That is indeed the most totally tubular and radical post of the week. <----those sunglasses are early-90s Raybans.

you should add a bodacious to this quote......

Yeah, I was pretty pleased with that one.

yeah okay.. i have too much time on my hands Mr. 536 posts.

Ouch. Touche.

In my defense, most of my posts are made while I'm at work getting paid and earning a degree.

But, yeah, I'm still a big loser.

(Edited by carligula at 12:51 pm on Feb. 24, 2003)

They've blocked the MB from my workplace, good thing probably.

while there is no computer in my workplace, there IS a crack machine and that is TEN time worse.

oh yeah, by crack machine, i mean video crack, not rocks.