Before I die, I want to...

Visit England, Switzerland, and Sweden
Make-out with Nicki Hilton
Race a stock car
Make a shitload of money
Arrange for a concert to take place in a barn on a farm
Own a General Lee from the Dukes of Hazzard
Start a honky tonk bar in a small town
Make-out with a really hot black girl (damn you for accomplishing this before me foldsfan)
Live in an old church, where I will have insane parties
Ride in a hot-air balloon
Live in Rhode Island and Montana for a small period of time each
Have a big family
Play the electric guitar and drums
Make my parents proud
And every boy's dream...Be more successful than my father

Please share...

my god if only that were untrue, my entire life would be a lot easier.

i want to be a freelance writer.
i want to live all over the east coast.

(Edited by deathscythe257 at 5:53 pm on Nov. 27, 2003)

...to visit London and buy mucho Oasis merch...
...to meet Joss Whedon and not be a total fan boy...
...write Uncanny X-Men...
...I may want to get some sort of girlfriend like thing at some point...

What, Sweden and no Denmark? I'm half Danish and I can assure you that Denmark is well worth your time. At least, if you go to Bornholm, the small island out in the center of the Baltic Sea. The northern coast is so beautiful.

There's a lot of things I want to do before I die and I think I'm accomplishing a lot of them right now. Of course, the majority is still long out of reach, but I'll get there someday...

I'm certain to edit and amend this tiny list as the days go by....

Live in England for a while
Have a quickie Vegas wedding and divorce just for kicks
Learn how to play *any* damn instrument
Swim with dolphins (dorky, but a deep desire of mine)
Date a much older Jewish doctor or lawyer
Pop off on a long weekend road trip, with no destination in mind and see where I end up.
Have at least one mildy respectable groupie experience (meaning, if I had the chance I would not get all up on the guy from Creed.)

-have a child
-see the Features go Platinum
-Go to Ireland
-make enough money to be able to hire a full time midget as a 24 hour mobile end table* for my smokes and shit (will have to hire 2 I guess, 24hrs is a long time)
-release another album
-sell my business for a terdpile of money
-buy my mom a house on the beach
-buy my dad a brewery


*Take your favorite end table and cut the legs off, secure it to a small hard hat, place on midgets head

oo ...good thread ....

- have my own restaurant
- work on a cruise ship and see the world for free!
- get out of debt? bHAHAAHAHAHAHAA !
- marry a french girl
- see the titans win a super bowl
- learn to play bass guitar
- teach myself snowboarding while working in vail rent free for some rich family as their personal chef
- go on a cross country road trip
- become a pirate
- have coffee with paul westerberg
- bitch slap ryan adams
- watch the olsen twins' demise into b-grade porn!


ahhh ...goals!!!!

go to a pound and take every dog and cat out of it
go to a pet store and buy every animal in it
meet Paul McCartney

...more will be added.

Those places depress me. Good for you, honey.

If you want to save animals... I'd steer clear of the over-priced pet stores. Those animals will get good homes... nobody will spend $1000 on a puppy and not adore and pamper it for the remainder of his/her life.

Adopt all the animals in TWO shelters instead!!!

believe me, sadie would do it in a heartbeat if she thought she would have enough room.

graduate college
make a lot of money
own a house
go to England
Meet Billy Corgan
meet a nice boy
have enough money to buy my mom a house

Have a child/children
Write a book
Get my PHD
Spend some time with my granny (before she dies is more like it)
Be in a play or musical
Have a good relationship with my parents again

Sounds like one hell of an asian bbq.

uh oh...

hahaha, very nice

why is animal cruelty so funny to some people?

Why is the subject of foreign delicacies such a touchy subject to some people?

Here is my solution to world hunger for the day: All those kitties and puppies that are unwanted, ship them to starving people in 3rd world countries. Cruel? Perhaps, but personally the lives of human beings are much more precious than that of your common house pet.

(Edited by Ceeze at 5:48 pm on Nov. 30, 2003)

Well, in small amounts it can be funny. But I was watching this thing on CNN last night where bears were kept in tiny cages in China, and people use their bile as an ancient remedy....I nearly cried.

PREFACE: THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT IS NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF MY TRUE FEELINGS. THIS IS JUST TO PROVE A POINT TO CEEZE.


here's an even better idea:

how's about we send all of those unwanted old people from the nursing homes to third world countires; fry them up and utilize the age old tradition of cannibalism?

this comment is almost as absurd as your previous statement (and definitely as cruel).

cruelty of any kind is just not funny. period.

(Edited by ray davies at 6:57 pm on Nov. 30, 2003)

That is all well and good, you would just have to warn them of eating the brain. It can spread prion, a protein that is believed to cause diseases of the nervous system such as kuru or Creutzfeldt-Jakob.

However I think we should just beat all those old people to death with their shoes. Or is that resevered for members of Feable Weiner?

(Edited by Ceeze at 6:04 pm on Nov. 30, 2003)

just members of FW

When it's a joke, it is.

gotta disagree with you on this one, RD.

It is definitely not funny when the joke was made about one of the things your girlfriend wants to do before she dies.

or just someone being an inconsiderate moron. animal cruelty is just not funny.

I wish I could do the same thing (as Sexy Sadie). Seeing homeless animals kicks my ass - that's why I have 3 kitties already and would take orange kitty in a second if I had a bigger apt., and he didn't make Bear feel the urge to go #1 & #2 outside the litterbox EVERY DAY out of spite. Every time I go to the pound or a pet store I start crying and have to leave because I want to take them all.

I almost took home the enterprising little guy who sat outside our cabin at Thanksgiving, waiting for scraps every night. He came and sat in my lap and purred so loudly!

I will definitely be a "crazy old cat lady" when I get old.

Sorry my friend, but a joke is a joke. They are not meant to be taken seriously, but moreso, to be viewed as opportunistic puns showcasing one's wit. And it's not like it can offend the animals. We all know they don't have feelings anyway.

just kidding...

Pish posh you hypocrite. When you state in one post that cruelty of any kind is not funny, and then in the next state your overwhelming desire to beat someone with their shoe, you're shooting holes in your own argument. I may be inconsiderate, but I feel the moron comment is a bit of projection on your part

Before I die, I want to bring Ceeze and RayDavies together in friendship. I think a kitten could aid in this somehow.

Arguments make me sad. I, for one, admire SexySadie for her big heart and devotion to our furry friends. I also like to make fun of things. Koalas, for instance. It's all about happy mediums.

I'll bring the deep fryer.

For the fries, I assume, while you play with the cat.

Damn, fries sound good right now. I am pretty hungry.

this argument will just continue and continue for a pretty long time if i just keep giving in to ceeze's bait. have a good day, ceeze. keep practicing your great deeds of animal cruelty and laughing at jokes dealing with that subject.

Why don't I just change my list to one that's a little less controversial:

-kill and eat some cat
-kill and eat some dog
-be a fucking dick

Now there's something to strive for, you fucking bastard.

And don't come back saying "Chill out, learn how to take a joke". Jokes are funny, and you are not.

(Edited by Sexy Sadie at 6:58 pm on Nov. 30, 2003)

If that's not bait, then I don't know what is.

Why continue? I obviously won.

of course you did.

d'oh. fell for it again.

seriously though, ceeze, just lay off the animal cruelty jokes and let's just be festive for the rest of the year (if you can find any way in your black heart, that is).

Foreshadowers Award of the Week goes to...Damon! Congratulations!

(Edited by richarddawson at 7:18 pm on Nov. 30, 2003)

damon always said that he had "a gift".

It's no Civil War cannon though, is it Mr. Davies?

I'll promise to be less dyspeptic if people stop taking things so personal. I haven't killed your cat, yet.

I love all animals. (except chickens, lady bugs, and boys... I just don't have much sympathy for them) If fact, won't even kill a spider unless my roommate is shrieking about it... but this is fucking ridiculous!!

You don't seriously think that this was a literal statement... do you? No.. you couldn't possibly.. because that would be completely the most absurd thing I've ever heard of. Surely you aren't that obvivious to things going on..

Had I made such a statement about saving the puppies (and I do frequently) in the presence of Ceeze. He would have made comment about 3rd world countries, I would have hit him really hard in his gut, then laughed about it.

Because I realize that even if he were being serious.... his opinion really can't harm cute and cuddly pupipes and kitties.

AND if he had made a similar comment about <insert name of band everyone hates> I doubt he'd be greeted with such animosity.

That's all I have to say.

my cat already died years ago.....

I hug you.

Of course i dont think it was a literal statement. it's ceeze's reputation of being an asshole on the message board. a little argument betwwen message board members hasnt hurt anyone yet, now has it? animal cruelty is just a touchy subject for some people. I am one of them; Sadie as well.

Hmm...all of this reminds me...

Don't take this too personally, but Mr. Davies, is it true that you are a fan of Alf and have even been known to wear a t-shirt depicting Alf as some sort of icon? Is it also true that one of your constituents, possibly yourself, has an Alf puppet? Finally, is it or is it not true Mr Davies that Alf wanted to eat cats?!?! The prostitution rests it's case.

I'm sorry. I would be overly sensitive too if I'd had no pussy for years.

WHAT????? NOT MY ALFIE!!!!?????!!!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ha Ha Ha!


When I was a kid, I had an Alf paintbook, but the paint was in little colored dots at the top of the page, and you had to wet your paintbrush to get the watercolors to work. It ruled.

now that one was funny.

No, but you seem to be oblivious to what I have said. I expect him or somebody else to say he was joking. However, I tend to think all jokes about killing or eating animals are not funny. Apparently that makes me looney.

AND if another person had posted the list I did, that person probably would not have been greeted with such animosity.

Most importantly though...When a person mentions something they sincerely hope to be able to do at some point in their life, and another person ridicules that person's wish, it's personal no matter how you might try to say that it isn't. And that is not cool.

That's all I have to say. I have no qualms with you, Weenysmack. I just wanted to let you know where I am coming from.

Yeah, my life wishes are stupid. Shouldn't I be mocked for wanting to be a groupie slut, rather than the girl who wants to do some good? I need to re-evaluate my life goals. But I'm pretty sure groupie will still be on the list.

A very good point.

Boo-hoo. Why in the hell does anyone take anything I, or anyone else here for that matter, post to heart? Maybe I only posted what I did because it was you. I didn't, but if I did it is your own fault. You're easy prey. You have to understand that. Anytime anyone makes a comment that is even a little negative towards you or something you've said, you overreact. Do you know how little all of this means in the grand scheme of things? If all of this bothers you so much, how do you operate in society? I mean, seriously. Did I downright belittle you, your beliefs, your goals? No, I made a meaningless aside of a joke. There is no way that should be taken personally. I was called an asshole, a dick, a moron. Do I take any of that personally? No. Why? Why would I? Who cares?

You are your own worst enemy. Noone is out to get you, especially me. I don't care enough about you to be out to get you. Someday (hopefully) you'll stop caring so much what other people think or say, especially on something as meaningless an internet message board.

I operate just fine in society. Why? Because I understand when people are poking fun at me in real life. On a message board, it's hard to tell. I sometimes decide that you are just trying to be funny and ignore your comments, but sometimes when you say something about animals, for example, I cannot resist saying something because I simply do not see it as funny. Maybe you need to understand that although you may think something is funny, it may not be to other people.

Now, you have really belittled me by asking how I operate in society. Unless a person is actually mean to me in person or somebody I know, I don't let it get to me because I know that most of you put up facades on this board. Of course, I understand how petty this is.

I didn't intend to belittle you, at any point. I really wondered/wonder if this is a problem you grapple with in your day to day life, that is, your ability to allow little pointless things to get to you. It seems to be a motif here at least. Go back and read what I said initially. Whether you think it was funny or not, how that can possibly merit me being called a dick, an asshole, a bastard, a moron. It was perhaps tasteless, it was perhaps not funny, but it does not have a damn thing to do with who you really are or who I really am. I at least didn't resort to calling people names, and I'm the asshole. Kudos.

(Edited by Ceeze at 12:14 am on Dec. 1, 2003)

Cada uno debe llegar a ser tranquilo en esta discusión. En El Salvador comemos muchos animales tales como gatos, monos, coyotes y manatees grandes. ¡Los Features son verdad el grupo más grande que la tierra sabrá siempre!

Oh, Miguel. You're always such the envoy.

as a fellow "vegetarian," i completely agree with ceeze.
the beatles dont care about animals- why do you!?

Sadie, I think I understand where you're coming from. I respect your point of view, and I think it's really wonderful that you want to save animals!

My problem is this: Should people really sit down and think "would Sexy Sadie think this is funny?" before they post something?

I don't think that's fair.

Lots of other people get enjoyment from stupid, meaningless comments such as the ones in question.

Censorship is bad.

I'm offended by the use of the word pussy... you dick!

I just wanted to thank Ceeze for the initial jokes. Very fun stuff, my man. Of course, I already get way too many of them from my Korean friend, but I still appreciate the humor. You're still an asshole

(Once again I apologize for pointing out the ethnicity of my good friend, but I felt that it brought more relevance to my statement as his ancestors and even some of his contemporaries have been known to eat domesticated animals on ocassion).