Several years ago, my mother and I were picking up my little sister from a friend's house. We were waiting in the foyer, when these two little dogs come tearing through the room. The first one rounds the corner, and gallops into the dining room, and the other dog just smacks right into the wall without pausing. He backs up, shakes his head, and continues into the dining room. I, of course, start to giggle at this odd sight. My mother says to me, "That dog is blind, you know." I paused for a second, and then at the exact same moment, my mother and I both start cracking up.

One day in the summer after seventh grade, Brother Love and I were riding our bicycles around the neighborhood, as we did everyday. We passed by one house, only to see a college-age babe in a very skin-tight outfit. She bent over to pick something up for what seemed like an eternity. I watched in seventh grader amazement, and as we passed, I looked at Brother Love to make a face indicating how excellent this was, when, distracted by the hot girl bending over, he drove his bicycle into my neighbors mailbox and crashed to the street pavement. The girl looked at us because of the loud noise and immediately started laughing. *Brother Love...seeecrets*

Wait, is Brother Love blind, too?

say it isn't so, rd!

The funniest thing that I've ever seen happened in 1997 in the parking lot of the Blakeford Retirement Community in Green Hills. I was 18 and was an employee there.

Sometimes several of us younger folk would hang out in the parking lot for a few minutes after work smoking, chatting, and making plans for the evening.

There was this guy about my age who worked there named Jay Oonk. He had driven this badass new pickup truck to work, so we asked him about it. He said it was his dad's and it was brand new. There were about ten of us standing around, including some attractive young ladies, and apparently he wanted to show off. So he asked if we wanted to see him peel out in it. Of course we did! So he gets in and starts revving it up. Then he throws it into gear and, sure enough, peels out, tires squealing. We could tell immediately, though, that he had lost control of the truck. It veered off to the side, jumped the curb, and went up into the landscaping. It barreled through the landscaping and crashed full-speed into the big brick-and-concrete sign for the Blakeford.

Although I'm sure we all felt terrible for him, we were rolling on the pavement laughing as he slowly reversed back onto the pavement, revealing a thoroughly smashed front end and a deployed airbag.

(Edited by jamiecarroll at 5:00 pm on Nov. 28, 2003)

Why is it everyone's funniest moments involve people or animals crashing into things? Is that the most hilarious situation ever?

Man, we were just out of 7th grade! That was a big deal to see!

yes, well, i was trying to imply that based on previous stories your quote should have been something like this:

"only to see a high school-age babe"

i know there has to be one better than this, but this is what i thought of first.

i was probably 11 or 12. my mom and i often walked over to our neighbor's house just to visit. they were an elderly couple and didn't often have visitors. so we walked over to find the lady out in her garden, messing with some flowers. this story would probably be a million times funnier if you guys knew the lady, so let me try to paint a picture for you. she's extremely short and round. she's very, for lack of a better word, snooty and enjoys the finer things in life. she wears thousands of dollars in jewelry at a time (even when gardening) and always has her steel gray hair (and steel gray hairpiece) piled perfectly atop her head. so this round little woman, with picturesque gardening hat and gloves, was digging away in the flowerbed. she noticed my mom and i approaching and greeted us and we talked a little while. then, out of nowhere and for no apparent reason, she toppled over the log behind her! she rolled perfectly backwards, her short little legs stuck up in the air. it was like a real life weeble wobble! my mom and i had to fight back laughter and force a little artificial concern. but she got up, dusted herself off and said something to the effect of "oh goodness!" my mom and i quickly excused ourselves. the walk back to our house was taking what seemed like years. we couldn't make it. we collapsed behind a bush in the yard, so that we were out of her view, and laughed for literally about 10 minutes. i can't recall another occassion that i actually fell to the ground laughing, so this was pretty funny, especially to an 11 or 12 year old.

so simple, but so funny to me for some reason.

Vicious, slanderous lies. Ray Davies must be behind this.

I've raked my brain for a story since this topic was created and I KNOW I have a funnier one but this is all I can think of.

When I was in sixth grade, we had several classes outside of the building in portables. One day, as we were leaving the portable, I noticed a giant spider on my friend Haley's back. "Haley, you have a spider on your back," I tried to tell him. He refused to belive me. "I'm not falling for that one!" he said. So, I let it be. From the portable window I saw him plop down the steps and head toward the main building. I also see the spider crawl further up his back toward his neck, until its completley on his neck. I guess that's when Haley felt the spider, because he dropped all of his books and started swatting at his neck like a madman. This, of course, is topped off by a ridiculously high pitched shriek.
And there is my "kind of funny but really had to be there" story.

(Edited by rachel at 1:30 pm on Nov. 30, 2003)

Would you two just make out already and get this rabid sexual tension out of your system?

Oh, and can I watch? That would be great.

i know nothing of this.

No and no. Boy on boy sex is not a road that I will travel. Unless, someone gives me one million dollars and it's guaranteed that no one will ever know about it.

(Edited by richarddawson at 5:57 pm on Nov. 30, 2003)

Sounds kind of steep. Is this a fixed price, or will you haggle?

There's few things I wouldn't do for a million dollars. I wouldn't kill someone. That's pretty much it.

I'd be willing to go down on it, but not much.

?!?!

Down on the price, or......????

Ha Ha!

Nice.

The funniest stories I can think of belong to Holeypeacoat. His friend Richard had some hilarious encounters (sorry, nonsexual) with a horse & a donkey. I will let him tell the tales...

I remember seeing an episode of that Johnny Knoxville show where they woke up one of his friends parents with really loud metal music from a boombox set up right next to the pillow, while using a toilet plunger repeatedly on the poor Dad's head. I laughed so hard and for so long that I started crying and almost peed my pants.

If you liked that, you should watch Viva La Bam. They dedicated a whole half hour to stuff like that. I for one, love it.

yes! i love it as well. "don't feed phil" was a good one, and so was the whole russian mail order bride thing, but i think my favorite might be the whole family reunion episode. man, granny was pissed!

i also enjoy "wildboyz," mostly because i love chris pontius so much. it's not so much the things that they do on the show that are funny to me, it's more their reactions to those things that i like. the dialogue between skits is choice. best "wildboyz" moment by far: when chris and steve-o put on the fake zebra suit and ran with the herd of real zebras. one of the funniest images i have ever seen in my life.

Ok, this is one of the funniest things to happen to me recently, but like most of these, you had to be there.
On my last visit to Nashville (for the awesome double dose of the features)for some reason plastic bags were out to get me. Man, I am cracking up just typing this...Anyways, on the way there, two hit my car and my friend and I cracked up because they looked like jellyfish. I was starting to think it was a conspiracy because they would just randomly attack my windshield. The best part was on the way home. Roger was driving my car and I took this huge swig of my drink as a bag full of air attacked my windshield and made this glorious "Fwoomp" noise. I looked at Roger, who just looked at me, and then my friend in the back seat said, "what is it with the plastic bags and your car?" I lost it. I have never spit out my drink before but if you could have seen the look on Roger's face. I think it was the fact that he had no facial expression at all that made this even more hilarious to me. ahhh my stomach muscles. yup. you had to be there.

At one point during our senior year in high school Richard Dawson had the hots for a freshman chick. He asked her out and she shot him down. Now that's funny in and of itself, but what makes it even more hilarious is that a couple weeks later she started dating a kid who was in the 8th grade.

Love that show! I do pity Don Vito a little though...everybody in that family hates him and screws him over all the time. (With the exception of Bam's dad, perhaps) It is hilarious though, and I'm sure they all get paid extremely well to put up with that crap weekly.

Which one?

Judging from the current dating status of Dick's, it would seem he's done a 180 away from his old way of thinking. Judging from mine- I like men and bunnies.

(Edited by foldsfan at 7:10 am on Dec. 3, 2003)

I'm going to put this as gently as I can for the aminal lubbers on the board. I don't do well with extremes (i.e. favorites, -ests, bests..), but it was funny enough. I guess this was just more like something out of a movie more than anything.

I was driving down 24. 3 lanes. I was in the middle lane. Two cars were ahead of me on either side- a van with a dad, mom, and three kids on my left, a red sports car with a business man riding in it. Normal enough, but today, there was another being on the highway. A cute kitten frolicking in the pavement, unaware of the impending danger.

So, all three cars see it. All of us react differently. I slow down. The van full of kids and parents starts to pull off to the left shoulder. I look over and they are obviously about to rescue the cuddly kitty- the mom and dad releasing their seatbelts and all the kids little noses pressed against the window, probably already arguing over whether to name Fluffy or Ralph.

The third, the sports car, is ahead of us all. he starts swerving trying to miss the cat, but the thing is so playful that whatever lane the car goes into, the cat has already jumped into. Too dangerous too just slam on the brakes, the red car has to make a go at it. The kitten at the last moment, obviously has a death wish and pounces underneath the car's tire. The business man starts cursing and pounding the steering wheel. He drives off depressed, especially after seeing the shock on the all the kids' faces.

The parents were just holding their heads in their hands, knowing they had to explain that they weren't taking home a kitty that day. I wouldn't want a kitty who had just been squished then flung 15 feet in the air only to lay lifeless on the ground anyway. It was funny, I thought.

wow.
brace yourself for the inevitable ripping of a new one.

Man, if he had a nickle for everytime someone told him that...

Elaborate, especially on bunnies