Does anyone know a cure for insomnia, I'm dying from nightly oppression. The only ones I've found are vicodin and muscle relaxers but that only causes hypersomnia and I would prefer to not become a pill popper.

Don't go to bed until you're sleepy.

Also, don't read in bed.

Get a boring boyfriend.

embrace it... I've been an insomniac all my life... if I go to bed before 3am its a rare night. Pills catch up to you.

"The last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the sleeping world"

Leonard Cohen

exercise, but not when you are right about to go to bed.
yoga helps too.
and get on a strict meal schedule.

(Edited by stopforme at 10:43 am on Jul. 6, 2004)

anybody got a cure for sleeping too much? (Not cocaine).

I'm a lifelong insomniac as well. It sucks, but I've found melatonin helps. It's cheap, natural and legal (unlike my women).

And Luke, if you'd really like to stay up, find some ephedrine. Or I bet you know a certain someone that could hook you up with adderall.

Going along with what JC was suggesting, I've heard that you're more likely to have trouble sleeping if you mentally associate your bed with things other than sleep. So if you eat on it, read in it, just hang out on it and don't sleep, etc., then it's harder to fall asleep at night.

I have trouble falling asleep and am a very light sleeper and I also don't want to resort to medication. I invested in a white noise maker and I think it really helps.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure sleeping pills are one of the leading causes of future insomnia. Plus, I've read that sleeping pill-induced sleep is very REM-sleep poor, making it not very mentally restorative.

Personally, I have an easier time sleeping if I have a quiet fan blowing in the room. For awhile I slept with ear plugs to drown out some noisy roomates.

always works for me.

stopforme is on the money with the excercise schedule.

certain forms of strenuous exercise right before bed can be pretty conducive to sleep.....

Is alcohol an option?

I find it helps if I turn the air conditioning up waaay high and then crawl into a nest of comfy blankets; hibernation.

There are advantages to being an insomniac though. You could get a lot done while everyone else is sleeping. Plus you'll never be the first to pass out at a party and get 'bitch' written on your forehead with a permanent marker.

Totally. Like pushups and crunches.

Dude, just ask her out already.

glad you caught my drift carl.

Not for me. I sleep like shit when I've been drinking.

I sleep fine, but I'm not too good the next day.

Did Brian let you read my personal messages again?

Yeah, that's how I learned to not trust prostitutes

For me, it was the genital warts.

"personal" is a relative term

Dude, my mom has apologized for that.

Ladies and gentlemen-- the undisputed winner.

Me too... she has to be very quiet though.. you don't want her waking up the wife...

i sleep too much. i sleep when im bored. its bad. eating a lot knocks me out, especially indian.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

something like that shouldn't put you to sleep, dear...

(Edited by simone at 4:08 pm on Jul. 6, 2004)

i'm going to go take a nap.

oh and im with etc on the white noise maker. very effective.

actually, due to the lactic acid or whatever, isn't exercise right before bed bad for you? that's what i have heard--i think it is better for you to do the said exercise well before you turn in...either way, it's effect will tire your body out and make it much easier to sleep. frankly, i'd rather have the pills.

while the bed might not be the best place for my particular brand of strenuous exercise, it's probably the most popular and practical.

and on that same note, the more tired your body is, the better you sleep. wink wink.

I rarely have trouble getting to sleep. When I absolutely can't sleep at all, I use white noise from the radio. Usually works like a charm.

a method i've used many times, especially in hotel rooms on road trips...it does indeed work like a charm, though it has illicited a number of bewildered responses from others who just think it's kind of weird. i rely on my sleep machine at home and generally can't fall asleep without the white noise effect.

I think I have apnea. For this reason, Token may enjoy the white noise of a CPAP machine for the rest of her days.

Dude, you're still young. Get the surgery instead.

seriously. i think that people who snore and keep their spouses from getting a decent nights sleep are inconsiderate and rude. my dad, for example... get the surgery.

For real. I can't even stand the sound of a humidifier. I guess white noise isn't for me.

However, it's really not a problem since I can sleep through just about anything.

(Edited by Token at 11:59 pm on Jul. 6, 2004)

I've had insomnia too since high school. I just usually take Tylenol PM or exercise early in the day. If that doesn't work, watch Jay Leno, instant eye closer.

Nice. I was going to mention that, but I thought it might be in bad taste since the girl just turned 17.

I don't mean to gloat, but I have never had a problem falling asleep. It is very rare for me to take longer than one minute to fall asleep. One minute!

(Edited by jamiecarroll at 12:19 am on Jul. 7, 2004)

I found the best way to fall asleep is to have ten orgasms in a row. Thanks, TF!!!

Okay so I tried the excerise (running that is, considering I'm single the other one could pose a problem) but I got scared sprinting down my street since where I live is known as "cougar country" and there was one in my backyard the otherday, so it didnt really work. Then I hit the bowflex but just got irritated by how silly it is put together. The fan is making me a little sleepy so we'll see how that works although I am pondering consuming more pills, I guess when I run out I will resort to other things. Yet I have stumbled upon the perks of insomnia, it is by far the best time to write and there is unlimited free porn on cinemax...that is if you like that sort of thing...

porn? on cinemax??

look for me, mallory mammaries... i'm appearing in "luscious linda's horny holiday" at 3:45am pacific time. TF is my costar... his stage name is "ten footer."

(Edited by simone at 3:57 am on Jul. 7, 2004)

I will keep my eyes peeled for such perversions

My pleasure. Well, actually, I guess it was your pleasure.

I'm grateful for insomnia because I think it's what keeps this message board going. I love that when I log in each morning, there are twenty new messages.

i didn't say it was pleasureful.... i just said it knocked me out.

good goin, ten footer.


(and btw, i'm not sleepy again tonight.... so come on over. bring carl. it'll be a party.)

(Edited by simone at 2:01 am on Jul. 8, 2004)

apparently, after gloating about the easiness and frequency of my sleep, karma came to kick my ass.
its 3 in the morning, and i am wide awake.
thank god there is a helpful four page thread to give me sleep suggestions!
oh, no, wait. 3 & 1/2 pages are about tf & simone's porn star career and stalking carl.
im bitter because im tired. now i'll go drink some chamomile tea.

I'm not sure, but is that what they call an innuendo? goin' a few rounds, having a rummage, doin' it. All very helpfull in sleep aid. Though the young lass may not want to "gain a reputation" (that's how all my 17 year old de-flowerie's mum's put it), then good ol' hands on (or mechanically assisted) masterbation is the ticket. Burns calories, tones muscles, and every girl I know swears by the O, as insta sleep, though it sometimes takes several bouts to uh. . . reach exhaustion(?). There are exceptions for certian, like the ones who just get really hungry (for food) afterwards. For what its worth pills aint so bad if used properly, but more fun if they're not.

On the same wave; how long do the youngers wait typically to loose their V? Do girls still get "reputations"? I'm fairly certian I was 17, possibly 18. Maybe this should be a topic on its own, or is that not somewhere we want to go?
Somebody with more credibility needs to start that thread. I nominate simone; she seems qualified.

-It should be noted that I haven't slept in about 2 days, and well. . . I'm no authority on either of these subjects, merely a bit stir crazy.

(Edited by MarshallStacks at 2:23 pm on Jul. 10, 2004)

I do believe I was one of the only few girls in my town who was still one by their 14th bday

(Edited by Amanda at 11:13 pm on Jul. 10, 2004)

As much as I like to joke about everything on this board, I would like to suggest we not make light of this issue. I'm finding more and more how early kids are having sex these days and I find it completely apalling. I know I sound like a righteous asshole, but I seriously doubt that most people in their teens really can understand and value the act. It's really sad if you ask me. Of course, if I had the chance and that was the norm when I was in my early teens, I definitely would have gone for it, so I can't really condemn.

If we must waste everyone's time on the Features Message Board talking about losing virginity, I would request that we make it an annonymous poll. Unless you really want to brag...

what exactly are you implying?









i'm a very good girl.

is this messageboard (and every other) about anything more than wasting time? yeah, i thought not.

(Edited by andrewjsmithson at 7:20 pm on Jul. 11, 2004)

wow! i'm suprised that i'm suprised but thats crazy. thats before high school, no?

i remained pure until i was about 20 or 21 and then it was with someone i loved very dearly and intended to marry...the fact that i didn't end up with her makes me wish i had never had sex at all now. it is a very powerful thing, and one that kids now are not taking as seriously as they should, i agree. i should've waited until i was married, in accordance with my beliefs...but i didn't and i'll regret it as long as i live. i'm sure kids are having sex earlier and earlier now, because the message they are getting from every direction is that it is ok. this is one of the countless ways in which the world we live in is appallingly unwise and--i don't want to get preachy, because i'm not here to judge...but these people are going to be seriously damaged goods when they get older. how did the insomnia thread turn to sex? i guess it was the porno references?

yeah sorry, all my fault.


hormones... i apologize.

oh, it's alright...i actually do feel uncomfortable talking about sex (though not insomnia), but writing about it is quite another thing. it's funny how candid i can be on this messageboard, but if you encounter me in real life i can be very difficult to have a conversation with.

That statement, sir, sums up this whole message board quite nicely. We talk openly and incessantly on this board, but when we get together in person, it's a lot of awkward silence.

You're right. I know that in my case, whatever wit and charm I may appear to have in this medium is kind of a farce, because I have the time and editing ability to fashion my crooked stray thoughts into something somewhat more interesting. As anyone who has ever met me "in real life" can attest, charisma and humor do not flow freely from me at all. This is why I am no good at: online chat, the telephone, dating, etc.

I totally disagree.


And I was 17, but the guy was a loser. It was terrible.....sex in general was terrible for the rest of the time we dated. I thought I'd hate it forever.


Insomnia relief: lie down in bed with the lights out, close your eyes, and try not to think of what time it is, or how you'll never get to sleep. Try not to think of anything.

Not me. I'm even more charming in real life. I gots skillz, yo.

I hear that a well packed bowl and a chilled out playlist are the best thing for insomnia. It could be case by case, though.

well, yes, naturally, but assuming the young lady in question doesn't want to do drugs...

i'd suggest reading some dreiser or dickens before bed. while taking care of your initial problem of sleeplessness, the effects of dickens can, like drugs, foster a myriad of deeper troubles, however, so be very careful--especially if doing the hard stuff, i.e. "a tale of two cities". it's a real page-yawner, and it can put you out even if you happen to be walking at the time.

if i really can't sleep, i'll have a turkey and cheese sandwich on whole wheat bread, a glass of milk, and red wine as dessert. the tryptophan amino acid in the turkey knocks you out within an hour after eating it and the complex carbs and calcium catalyze the effects.

watching the history channel while snacking increases the effectiveness of this trick by about 475%.

(Edited by simone at 1:12 pm on Jul. 13, 2004)

Like I said, I got no street cred.

but honestly, there is nothing easier than faling asleep after a day of physically exerting yourself. Our bodies were made to work, we're not those kids sittin on the couch.

swim lay in the sun eat a huge meal take a fantastic nap

Well actually I have already read 'a tale of two cities' but I do have 'the grapes of wrath' nesting on my book shelf, I'm sure that will have a similiar effect. As for the previous suggestion of packing a bowl, I've laid off that stuff, well actually only tried it a few times and for some reason just made my nose itch uncontrollably, dont ask... Oh and simone, I've heard about that turkey thing before, I think I'll try it.

I was mostly kidding about packing a bowl, although it sounds like you may have done a line of feathers, or "the hard shit" as it's come to be known.

Mmmm...turkey

(Edited by damon at 7:42 am on Jul. 13, 2004)

very funny damon, but I'm pretty sure I haven't indulged in a line of coke recently/ever.

I think he means to eat Turkey, cuz it has tryptophan in it which puts you to sleep. In case you've ever wondered why your fat uncle (everyone has one) always falls asleep watching football after Thanksgiving dinner, tryptophan is the reason.

Milk also has tryptophan in it, but a glass of warm milk reminds me a little too much of another substance for me to drink it without gagging.

Egg nog?

the hell...

Turkey makes you sleepy?

i love that site!
snopes, that is.

you know what else makes me sleepy?

a nice, long conversation with TF.

it's so much easier than eating turkey, safer than smoking weed, and slightly less entertaining than white noise.

give him a ring sometime.

i meant a line of feathers - like the ones commonly found on turkeys. you said your nose itched when you tried.

i'm wide awake... i have no turkey... no red wine... tom's sleeping...

i'm out of options.

help.

i'll trade my now weekly sleep paralysis for your insomnia.
i think its about time to see the doctorrr