thanks to this thread, i was reminded that I used the last of my shampoo this morning... needless to say I used my lunch break at the grocery. Thank god I didn't go to a hair salon to buy my shampoo... the choices at Winn-Dixie were perplexing enough. Here is why I will never know what to do in the shampoo aisle:
1) The bottles are in all shapes and sizes. Which one is more expensive than the other per ounce? you need a goddamn calculator to figure it all out.
2) Do I have dry and damaged hair? or is it oily and damaged? maybe it's just dry or just oily? what if it's just damaged? Do i need frizz control or shine? Do I want my hair full bodied? What the hell is full bodied anyway? and what's the norm when coming to dry vs. oily or damaged vs. undamaged? how do I know when my hair is frizzy?
3) The smells. I have to go through and smell every bottle. Does it smell girly or fruity? how come there are no genuinely manly scents? true, there are less-than-girly scents, but I see no "musk scented" shampoos. How chemically does it smell. Most importantly, how does this reflect upon my hair after said washing? Does the scent overpower me all day like my roommates cologne baths? Is the scent attractive to the ladies, or does it serve to only emasculate me?
4) The names. The names are all fucked up.
5) Nationality. Do I need German shampoo or australian shampoo? Italian? is there any english shampoo? what about asian? I don't know enough about my own heritage to make a decision there.
And so, I have decided that I need a girlfriend. Specifically I need a girlfriend that knows about hair. specifically guy's hair. she will be in charge of making the selection for me so that I don't have to think or learn mundane things about B vitamins and proteins that are otherwise useless to the world.
(Edited by deathscythe257 at 1:04 pm on Apr. 30, 2003)
you're everybody's second home
always trying to get me alone
an easy way to lose it all
always there when all else fails
over by the west side rails