My two best friends and I were supposed to live together in the fall. In the last couple of months, said best friends have become lovers. I don't want to live with a couple. I told them I can't live with them because they are a couple and now they take this as an egregious (sp?) offense. They've begun to harbor resentment and hatred over something that isn't quite personal. What do I do?

(Edited by deathscythe257 at 10:45 am on Apr. 22, 2003)

Don't do it, man! There's no way that's going to be a comfortable situation. What if they break up? Will they still live together? Or will you be forced to pay more or find another roommate? The only way this could work is if they agreed to a threesome. Is this a possibility?

i don't want that to be a possibility... man... do i ever not want that to be a possibility. i should mention that back in september one of the roommates and i had a fling. that was quelched quickly, however and we soon became great friends. then over the winter she found out her roommate would be leaving in august and offered me a room. i asked if the other guy could come with me and she said sure. then they started seeing eachother.

Oh, this just keeps getting better...

Yet another reason why this is a very, very bad idea.

yeah, i guess i shouldn't have held out this long in letting them know where i stand, but i was hoping for the best and trying to weigh everything properly without jumping to conclusions. However, in the end, it's just that living with a couple always comes back as a bad idea.

Man, this situation really makes me appreciate how good I will have it next year. My opinion is that you seem like an alright guy and I am sure that there are plenty of other poeple who would be glad to be your roomates.

Dude, is your zip code 90210?

no, it's 90211. why?

Ugh, sounds like you've got a sticky situation on your hands there. I suggested you die because I found the option to be humorous.

But, no, really, I would take IWE's advice. You seem like a guy who would be fairly easy to get along with. I'm sure you can find somebody who'd be willing to live with you who's not a couple.

yeah, that's not really worrying me. what is worrying me is that they're my best friends and now... uh... not. and i'm sure there will be some sort of repurcussion as i am living with one of them now, for like the next month.

i just realized that i've replied to nearly every post here. i feel like a putz, now. i'll stop doing that.

I always find it stupid when they bleep that word on TV.

Sorry, that was really random.

I don't like it when they beep 'ho.' That makes no sense.

DO NOT SIGN A LEASE WITH THEM!!!!

i'd live with deathscythe, but i would hate to commute from kentucky...

Is there no chance you could find a place on your own? Then you could sort of twist your reasonings into "Well, you know, I just wanted to give you guys some space. You can still come over and visit me at my place any time."

I just finished rooming with a couple and, let me tell you, it's not that fun. It's like being a third wheel ALL THE TIME . I imagine that feeling would only have been compounded if they were both good friends of mine.

i'd live with you, too, damon, but i'd hate to commute from tennessee.

Like all the others have said, don't get into a lease with these people. You're screwed either way...whether they fight while they are dating or break up and fight about that. Just find other roommates. That's my suggestion.

actually that's what i told them and they still got pissed. they think that i've screwed them over and that i owed them some sort of economic backing due to a verbal agreement that we made back before they even hardly knew eachother.

they should know better than to hold you to such an agreement. sex between roomates only works in the navy. you'd be the odd man out, and they should be bright enough to notice that.

That's a really crazy situation, I would definitely not move in with friends who are dating. Man, why do things always have to be so complicated?! I hope things work out though...

dude, seriously. the truth is, 5th wheel or no, it sucks to live with a couple. couples, no matter how much "they love each other" will fight. and they will bring you into their fights, whether they want to or not.
not to mention, its like dealing with 1 messy ass annoying roommate and his or her evil twin. couples are obnoxious regardless.
if they can't understand why you don't want to live with them, then fuck them. true friends will either understand or eventually get over it.

I really don't understand why they are so mad at you for changing your mind. An sometimes couples have that "thing" called whatever my BF thinks is what I now think! I hate when I see that, people who like no longer have an opinion with out talking to their better half first...

You guys are gonna be hella upset after this update:
I was supposed to bring one of them with me to the Red Rose on Sunday and now she refuses to go. talk about cutting of your nose...

yes, i just said "hella."

man, that sucks. you still get to come to the show though, right? because if so, it's her loss. if not, that really sizzucks.

oh yeah, i'll be there. along with two features virgins.

Gosh, I hate that. When a girl gets with a guy and all of a sudden likes everything that he likes and seems to have no original likes of her own...ugh, those girls make me mad. I can understand learning to appreciate or like the things that your mate likes because you spend so much time with him/her, but some people take it too far.

But, anyway. . . Deathscythe, just think of how much fun you're going to have Sunday and try not to worry about these troublesome friends. I hope everything works out for you.

well, basically they are more upset at the timing i think. they feel like they have no time to change their plans, but i don't think that's factual anyway. they said that I never gave them a hint that I was unsure or uncomfortable even though I told them many times that i had doubts about it and had told them a few times to be looking for a backup plan if things didn't work out. but regardless, they still don't understand why I don't want to live with a couple... their logic is that since we're good friends that it shouldn't matter, but i think that makes it worse, because i'll be in an even worse position than if i had no connection to one of them or even both. oh well.

and sadie, i will have fun this weekend and hopefully i'll see ya there along with the rest of the boro crew.

I just have one more point to make: yes I think this could possibly be a bad situation, but if your cash flo is anything like mine, u would probably live with your 2 friends, a monkey, and an illegal immagrant just to cut down on cost. I know I can't afford an apartment right now. I mean do you have many choices money wise? You might just have to make the best of it an roll with the punches, but I don't think you should compromise too much. First get back on good terms with them, then make sure everyone is clear on on the table when it comes to what u feel about their relationship. Then at least if u end up living with them... it will start off honest open and maybe things can run smoother than the way it seems like theings are with u 3 now... There's Hope for a semi-happy ending... But at least u can clear your head for a while at the show on Sunday!

well, i had a long talk with my now roommate, the guy, and it seems like we're definitely on the right path. he understands why i don't want to live there, and he's pretty much gotten over it. i don't know if i can say the same for the girl though, and i probably can't... so... either way, things are going much better. thanks for everyone's input. i'm still not living with them, and they've examined their other options now and are moving on, so i think everyone will come out fine.

this is good. i know from personal experience, a situation like that will never work. someone will inevitably get left out. bummer. well good luck!

i can't live with anyone period, i don't think.

i need a nice cool rock to live under,...IN peace, dogg