As I was taking my daily regimen of coffee and literature this morning I came across something that got me thinking of my own mortality. So my question is this: if you could request, in advance of course, a poem to be recited, a biblical passage to be read, or a song to be played at your funeral....what would it be? Now, I don't expect that this query will spring forth much sincerity, but that's ok. Whatever you've got is cool. Here's mine...



The Wires of the Night

I thought about his death for so many hours,
tangled there in the wires of the night,
that it came to have a body and dimensions,
more than a voice shaking over the telephone
or the black obituary boldface of name and dates.

His death now had an entrance and an exit,
doors and stairs,
windows and shutters which are the motionless wings
of windows. His death had a head and clothes,
the white shirt and baggy trousers of death.

His death had pages, a dark leather cover, an index,
and the print was too miniscule for anyone to read.
His death had hinges and bolts that were oiled
and locked,
had a loud motor, four tires, an antenna that listened
to the wind, and a mirror in which you could see the past.

His death had sockets and keys, it had walls and beams.
It had a handle which you could not hold and a floor
you could not lie down on in the middle of the night.

In the freakish pink and gray of dawn I took
his death to bed with me and his death was my bed
and in every corner of the room it hid from the light,

and then it was the light of day and the next day
and all the days to follow, and it moved into the future
like the sharp tip of a pen moving across an empty page.

(Edited by Ceeze at 11:42 am on Feb. 4, 2004)

I had a setlist devised at one time... that was of course after I was convinced I was going to die at 26. I was going to make everyone sit and listen to songs that would make them feel bad. I was a sick bastard.

I want to be buried at sea. The advertisement will read: "Come to Tom's Funeral & Get a Free Cruise!"

Now a funeral pyre would be the way to go... of course the ubiquitous Doors song would have to be playing as they light me up and shove me out to sea... I wonder what the zoning regs are for funeral pyres on Old Hickory Lake?

It's a natural thing to go to a funeral and imagine your own. When I spent 6 months working at the ole funeral home, I attended 50-60 funerals. I thought a lot about it. I also started regularly dreaming about going to loved ones' funerals. All that said, my funeral will be free from major deviations. It will be traditional straight down the line.

I just hope that when I die, I am not so out of touch with the rest of the world that only a handful of people show up to pay their respects. I hope that I leave more of an impact.

Hmmm...no reply.

How about this:

I'll request that all women wear long skirts with no undergarments. After my grave is filled, they can all come and stand over it to piss all over it.

Better?

That is a tuff question there ceeze. Hmmmmm I would probably have a cheerful soundtrack to my funeral. I dont want people to fell bad about my death.

...i'm never gonna die.

i'm a vampire ya know?

That's much more like the poignant thoughts I expected. It was my mistake for attempting to discuss anything with a semi-serious tone.

In retrospect, I should have asked something to the effect of "if you could have a perpetually powered 6 disk CD changer installed in your coffin, what CD's would you want to listen to for eternity?"

to which i would reply,
nick cave - murder ballads
the cure- disintegration
depeche mode - violator
joy division - permanent
jeff buckley - grace
and wham, because if i am gonna be stiff, i want george michael to be there with me