Come on, there has to be someone else who is completely dumbfounded at R. Kelly's five part single.

What happened to "I Believe I Can Fly" R. Kelly? This R. Kelly has an itchy trigger finger.

This is just so beautiful...

I said I love you
And she said I love ya, too
Then a tear fell up out my eye
Then I called her my sunshine
And then she looked at me
And said baby go deeper please
And thats when I start goin crazy
Like I was tryin to give her a baby
The room feel like its spinnin
We keep turnin and turnin
As if we were in a whirlwind
The way our toes are curlin
The next thing ya know, she starts goin real wild
And starts screamin my name
Then I said baby, we must slow down
Before I bust a vessel in my brain
And she said please no dont stop
And I said I caught a cramp
And she said please keep on goin
I said my leg is about to crack
Then she cries out
Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax
And I said cool
Climax
Just let go of my leg
She says you're the perfect lover
I said I cant go no futher
Then I flip back the cover
Oh my God, a rubber...

(Edited by DigsySlattery at 9:21 pm on Jul. 5, 2005)

I LOVE THOSE SONGS!!!

I heard chapter one on the radio, and immediately got sucked in. I had to find out what happened next! I could not wait to hear the other ones, so I went on the internet and looked up the lyrics for the others. As I read each "chapter," the intrigue and suspense grew. So many twists! I don't want to give away what happens in chapter 5, but wow!

I could literally compile a top ten of my favorite lyrical moments, but right now, this is my favorite:

"Next thing you know, a call comes through on my cell phone,
I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate"


(Edited by jamiecarroll at 10:50 pm on Jul. 5, 2005)

I also love He says yes I say no He says yes I say no. The delivery is what makes it funny.

And the videos....ooooh the videos.

I've never even seen the videos!

VH1 had a 30 minute special playing all 5 chapters. It's the full "Closet" experience.

I. Was. Amazed.

Does he pee on her in any of the chapters?

BET played it in its entirety before VH1 did. i watched the full saga. its glorious.

my favorite is "i pulled out my berrettaaaa"

I am!

My husband and I were laughing our asses off at this.

He is just sooooooooo gross to me.

No. But he does in the E-pee-logue.

(Edited by carligula at 11:05 am on Jul. 6, 2005)

oh dear

YEAH, I WAS. THAT'S WHY I MADE A THREAD ABOUT IT A MONTH AGO. GAH

My friend saw the 20 minute video and simply said it was "hilarious." I'm sure it is. Anyone know of a place where I can get it online (not a fan of that Kazaa crap)?

After extensive research, I've discovered this site of an American music video channel that offers a broadband stream of the video. It's called Music Television, or MTV. Their site is a little hard to find, so I included a link. Enjoy!

Truly the most eloquent expression of the human experience.

Except for maybe this:
http://www.modernhumorist.com/mh/0206/rkelly/

I'm lazy, you're sassy. We all have our little flaws...

um.... might wanna label that on the "not work safe" side of things.

Sorry. I thought because it involved R. Kelly, you could assume to proceed with caution.

I hope you're not in trouble for looking at puppy-pokemon pornography.