After reading the third thread, I want to try something--> boro

11. Carl is someone you new people should get acquainted with.

carl befriended me at a show at the slow bar. he allowed me to experience a special kind of love i didn't know was possible. thanks carl, you're the best.

message board guides are overrated.


sounds like someone doesnt get enough attention or that they just want to lick the ass of a few people on this internet community.

fuck brianeno2

mmmm...ass

sounds like someone doesnt get enough attention or that they just want to lick the ass of a few people on this internet community.

sounds like someone doesnt get enough attention or that they just want to lick the ass of a few people on this internet community.

fuck brianeno2

The Lurve thread should probably be included in the key threads to read.

Wow, I'd forgotten. That shit was epic.

Good threads.

Looks like another thread with special red words. Wow. Missing threads, and historic old threads retouched with new color... BrianW, what the Hell is going on here?

Anyway, if someone wants to try to find it, another one of my favorites was BrianEno2's attack on Rory. It may have been censored/deleted.

This ought to butter your bread...

Looks like another thread with special red words. Wow. Missing threads, and historic old threads retouched with new color... BrianW, what the Hell is going on here?

Will

Holy shit, that was hilarious.

The red writing appears when you search a keyword. The red words denote your keyword, as I discovered earlier.

The red writing appears when you search a keyword. The red words denote your keyword, as I discovered earlier.

This ought to butter your bread...

Looks like another thread with special red words. Wow. Missing threads, and historic old threads retouched with new color... BrianW, what the Hell is going on here?

Will

1. Don't start shit with Sina. You're welcome to, but a life of pain will surely follow. And, if she starts an issue with you, which is very possible, take it in stride. Don't get into a bitch fight. It's all over for you after that.
2. Your first post should be about the Features.
3. If you're a lovely lady and life's got you down, just talk to me about your problems. Then, you can talk to foldsfan. And, Keith gets thirds. And, if you really need to, there's always Carl.
4. jamiecarroll is a woman of wisdom and sage advice.
5. Fear the impending wrath of brianeno2.
6. The Daigle is all-knowing. There are better ones than I to tell you of His greatness.
7. Do not promote your own ventures, unless you are a trusted member of the community. If you are not, then either do not promote it or pay a higher member of the board to do it for you, if they agree.
8. Do not make demands. It is unflattering and could cause you to lose social rank.
9. YaDaDaDa & Token are married. They are nice.
10. The Features full-length album is never coming out.
11. Carl is someone you new people should get acquainted with. He's the head of newcomer hospitality.
12. This is also the De Novo Dahl messageboard.

I am surely forgetting some handy information and rules, so I ask that my fellow boardmembers contribute their advice to this guide as well.

Welcome back SuperCaribou

i always assumed that jamiecarroll was a dude for some reason. like i remember being a newbie and thinking that it was a girl because of the username but my mind switched it up for some reason. i actually assumed she was a kinda chubby guy that was really jovial and friendly. i was wrong. dead wrong.

jamiecarroll...i assumed she was a kinda chubby guy that was really jovial and friendly.

I'm not 100% sure about the history of the board so some of the others can help me out with this.

In the spring of 2001, michael was commissioned by the Features to build an official website for the band.  As part of this website, he created a message board where fans could discuss the band and other relevant topics.  As is common with software projects, michael wanted to test the message board before releasing it to the general public.  This would help ensure that everything was working properly.  Several of the Features' personal friends were recruited to help with this testing.

The first person to sign up for the test was BrianEno.  For some unknown reason, he stopped posting after six test posts.  Legend has it that the Creator, michael, banned him from the board.

On September 22, 2001, brianeno2 joined the message board.  Just before the site when public, the test messages were removed from the message board.  On November 26, 2001, brianeno2 posted the first message on the "real" message board.  In that post, he declared himself god.  brianeno2 would go on to post his thoughts on music, life, and, of course,  the Features.  He was famous for stirring up discussions with controversial posts and, especially, for criticizing the band's management.  (He would later change his position on the subject.)  He is noted for starting the first known comprehensive listings of Features songs, starting the site's first poll, ripping local bands, and eating at CiCi's pizza.  He is also credited with introducing the word relevant into the message board vernacular.

On February 14, 2002, brianeno2 posted his 250th message, making him the first member to be labeled an "Advanced Member."  Twelve minutes later, he became the first member to officially retire from the message board when he made his final post.  According to legend, he still sometimes speaks through his prophet.

Things were quiet for a few days.  Then on February 17, a new member joined the board.  elliott would go on to post 148 messages in thirty-three hours.  His posts were rather inane in nature, with such memorable quotes as "has anyone seen my pants they're a grey, silverish color I lost them at the last features show at 12th and Porter."  He was known for his dislike of emo kids and affection for jam bands.

elliott's rampant posting soon raised the ire of the other board members.  He was quickly banned by the message board's administrators, making him only the second person to ever receive "the death penalty."  Since he was banned, his messages are no longer available in the board's archives.  People in the know eventually discovered his true identity (and apparently forgave him).  Another member, smith, made a brief appearance as elliott's alter ego.  He, however, never really stirred up any trouble.

The only other major event occurred in July of 2002, right after the board's first official "meet and greet" at Dancin' in the District, the message board crashed.  When michael fixed it, it reappeared with new software (with lots of cool features, including avatars).

This concludes my lecture for Features Message Board History 101.

I thought it might be good to add Tom Foolery's "history of the board lecture" to this thread while I'm in front of the computer waiting for CDs to burn.

fuck brianeno2

On September 22, 2001, brianeno2 joined the message board.

So does that mean our bi-monthly trip to the swinger's club is off?

Might we look to September 22, 2004, as the resurrection of  our savior, brianeno2?

10. The Features full-length album is never coming out.

I'm not 100% sure about the history of the board so some of the others can help me out with this...